Diablogue With Kellar

New Blog

2010-12-21T06:15:00.000-08:00

Yup. It's true. I have a new blog.

Go Here to view it.

Kid Ministry Time Fillers

2010-10-12T19:28:00.000-07:00

At Fourth Avenue we often have some extra time at the end of our children's church and need to fill the time with an activity or two until the parents come to get the kids.

Here's what I am curious about:
1. What do other children's ministers find to be a useful way to spend that time?
2. Where do you gather ideas for what to do?
3. What sort of burdens do you feel as you try to fill the time? (Do you feel the need to review the lesson, use the time for "holy" activities, etc.)

Thanks for commenting!

~JK

You Have Come To...

2010-10-05T04:24:00.001-07:00

-Mount Zion
-The City of the Living God
-The Heavenly Jerusalem
-Innumerable angels in festal gathering
-The assembly of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven
-God, the judge of all
-The spirits of the righteous made perfect
-To Jesus, mediator of a new covenant

What an incredible gathering.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:W Main St,Franklin,United States

Rules Without Relationship

2010-09-27T07:42:00.000-07:00

After the D6 conference, I received an open invitation by Lantz Howard to guest blog about my experience. The opportunity was open to anyone so I decided to write about Dr. Kevin Leman's talk on how parents can get their kids to understand parental authority and ultimately the authority God has in their lives.

Check out the blog post here!

~JK

What do you look for?

2010-07-14T16:32:00.000-07:00

I am curious. What are the most important things families look for when it comes to being a part of a church? It is very easy for me to assume that certain things are important but I want to hear it from you. Fill me in! Thanks!
~JK

Out of the Overflow

2010-07-13T05:07:00.000-07:00

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

Even though I walk
       through the darkest valley,
       I will fear no evil,
       for you are with me;
       your rod and your staff,
       they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
       in the presence of my enemies.
       You anoint my head with oil;
       my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me
       all the days of my life,
       and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
       forever.

When I was a kid, the church we went to had a huge tapestry in the foyer. Depicted on it was a pasture with nearly a hundred shades of green. Etched around the edges was this psalm of David. Passing by this every Sunday morning, evening and Wednesday night numbed me to it's beauty and the power it's words have for life. I can't say that I have ever heard a sermon preached on it. I don't think it was ever one of my required memory verses. I have recently come back to this neglected verse and it has become a source of strength for me.

God is always doing one better. It is not enough for God that he provides physical nourishment with green pastures - he restores my soul. The journey he is taking me on wanders deeper than beside quiet waters - he guides me in paths of righteousness. The darkest evils are ignored when we realize his presence is greater, his rod and staff mightier and his comfort so assuring that we can feast at his table right in front of our enemies. When God anoints with oil...

keeps

pouring

and

pouring

and

pouring.

Abiding in him, love and goodness follow.

This is where I want to serve from. What would happen in my family if I lived in the 23rd Psalm. How would the ministry God has given me be affected if it is out of the overflow of what he is doing in my life? If I were walking in paths of righteousness for HIS namesake instead of mine, what would look different?

The LORD is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want ... but to follow.

~JK

Ministry Philosophy

2010-04-15T12:57:00.000-07:00

I recently finished reading Collaborate: Family + Church. I decided to revise my personaly ministry philosophy to incorporate some of it's concepts as well as other things I have been thinking about. I would love to hear your own personal ministry philosophy as well!

Personal Ministry Philosophy

My goal in ministry is to bring children, families and volunteers into closer relationship with God by engaging them in His story as we journey together in a faith-filled community. The basis for every decision I make in life comes back to my calling to share the love of God with those around me. My hope is that at every opportunity I will encourage others into a greater lifelong journey of discipleship.

Bringing people closer to God has to begin with His story. When we first introduce someone to who God is, a story must be shared. God’s story is revealed in His word. His desire to be in relationship with people, their rejection of him and His relentless pursuit to draw them near is His story. When we understand God’s story, finding our place in it leaves us breathless at His love. As we challenge people to journey deeper into His story through study of His word, we find that ministering to people is about responding to His love through discipleship. Not simply accepting Jesus but, more importantly, following Jesus (Luke 9:23).

Participating in God’s story is not something that can be taught. We must be invited into it through a relationship. By design, the best place for the invitation and the response to occur is in the context of a family. In families, we have the ability to live our discipleship in ways that are transparent and authentic. As parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, foster siblings, neighbors and others walk the journey they show those close to them, especially children, what it means to serve a risen savior. For some parents this journey and the twists and turns it reveals are quite intentional. For others any sort of spiritual growth is happenstance. Ministry to families means joining them on their journey and helping to share tools which will better equip them to walk and plant seed on the good soil (Luke 8:1-15).

Every generation of children is different. As God has revealed himself throughout history, he has made himself known in ways that were real and made sense to people. Ministers are given the privilege of partnering with God to accomplish this. The challenges of reaching children in an age where their hearts are saturated with media and conflicting messages are huge. Many parents feel they cannot compete. My responsibility as a minister is to help parents see that the Gospel is more real than anything their children encounter on a daily basis. By living according to this truth in ways that are authentic, parents will have a voice which speaks louder than IPods or internet.

As I am invited to participate in the spiritual journey of families I join the countless others who have walked with them before. These communities are made up of those in church settings, home settings, and less recognizable places where God’s presence can be felt. The potential for multiple generations, all with different gifts and abilities to “spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24) is a lasting assurance of the legacy which can be inherited when faith communities journey together.

Interacting with children and families in a community of openness and grace models for them what participation in Kingdom living looks like. Ministering with them in ways that are fresh and experiential reaches them on a level that goes much deeper than the head. In turn, children and families see that journeying with Christ is more than knowing the Bible, it is knowing God. Realizing His love for them calls them to be part of His mission to be extensions of His grace to others.

~JK

Smell Good

2010-04-07T05:33:00.000-07:00

There's nothing like a baby being plopped on top of you and the smell of ammonia rousing you into wakefulness. Being a dad has it's perks and lately they seem to come in especially pungent smells. With the addition of cloth diapers into our family's daily parenting rituals, fatherhood has entered an all new state of nasal excellence!

While on the one hand, being woke up by the smell of diaper death does not make for a happy morning, it was a sweet reminder that I am a dad. I can think of a million more pleasant smells that remind me I am a dad - playdough being squished under my feet, a bowl of soggy cheerios, melted chocolate on the car seat, baby shampoo, macaroni and cheese or peanut butter and jelly. Sometimes we can quite simply "smell" our kids coming from the other room.

I wonder what we smell like to God. In 2nd Corinthians chapter 2, Paul says,

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life."

He says that we are to God the aroma of Christ but then says we are the smell of death to some (those who are perishing) and the fragrance of life to others (those who are being saved). I once had a friend who looked down on Christians. He would say things like, "that reeks of Christianity." He had been burned by some Christian's and the deathly smell of smoke still burned his nostrils. For him, the aroma of Christ was an unwanted scent that unfortunately was probably tied to a well intentioned Christian who just wanted to smell good. We never want to be the smelly kid in class. Sometimes the smelly kid was the one who tried too hard to smell good! In order for our aroma as Christians to be one that makes people salivate, it cannot be too overpowering!

We underestimate our sense of smell sometimes. It really is amazing how what we smell can give us cues about the world around us. Walking in the door and smelling onions being sautéed. Fight or flight mechanisms in our brain going into alert mode when we smell smoke. We say "something smells fishy" when we feel unsure. Smells remind us of familiar places and long lost memories. This morning I woke up with the smell of diaper death beating up the sunrise. For some reason, it made me think of all the smelly situations we can get ourselves in and how the aroma of Christ is clouded by a foggy stench of our own sin at times. Paul says that when we smell good, God leads us in triumphal procession! We are the smell of defeat or the smell of victory.

Smell good to those around you today!

God Palace

2009-12-17T19:40:00.000-08:00

I'm in a blogging mood today...

I have been thinking all week about a conversation I had with a boy named Andrew. I am not sure how we got on the subject but my wife asked him if he ever had any dreams. Andrew replied that a few nights prior he had a dream about a Jesus and God palace! This sounded very interesting to us so we started asking him questions about it.

"What does the palace look like?", I asked.
"It looks like a human body," he replied.
"Wow, that sounds neat! How do Jesus and God get inside?"
"You just ask them and they go in through your heart!"

I think at this point Andrew got distracted by a noise in the other room. He is seven years old yet I learn from him nearly every time we get together with his family or see them at church. He is truly remarkable and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for him. He is already using him mightily.

~JK

Messy Sunday

2009-12-17T18:21:00.000-08:00

What would happen if we decided to give up going to church and decided to be the church? Would we find ourselves surrounded by people who look like us, behave like us, believe like us and belong like us? This article on the Emergent Village webpage has me thinking about what it would look like for me. Jared Enyart and his wife for the last two years have given up going to church - unless you consider church breakfast with a dozen or so homeless people under a bridge. They have begun calling what they do, "Messy Sunday." Eating with people who smell like urine, swear, teach children how to throw sand at others is messy, but the Enyarts have realized that kingdom living in the steps of the king gets messy sometimes. Or as Jeff Walling sometimes puts it, "If things didn't get messy, we wouldn't need a Messiah. It's a bold move. One that requires a lot of compassion and faith. It doesn't take a long look at Jesus to realize that sometimes His work is going to require us to roll up our sleeves and get a little bit messy.

~JK

A New Kind of Christian

2009-12-10T22:52:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading Brian McLaren's A New Kind of Christian. I was not sure what to expect when I picked it up other than the fact the McLaren was rethinking how Christians think about things and sharing his insights with the world. After completing the first of the trilogy following the spiritual journey of Dan and Neo, I feel very similar to how Dan descibed himself at one point - very excited but mildly depressed. I am excited because I feel that McLaren has captured much of my own frustrations and anxieties over the current state of Christianity and the dialogue between Neo and Dan captures many of the questions I have had for some time and allows for dialogue - not necessarily answers - about them. The mild depression I find myself in is the result of a "now what" feeling I am left with. I think I am going to let McLaren's words marinate for a while before trying to move on to the practical side of things. Right now there are certainly more questions than answers.

Professional Vices & Swimming for Life

2009-08-16T22:45:00.000-07:00

~Henri Nouwen, The Way of the Heart

“Anger in particular seems close to a professional vice in the contemporary ministry. Pastors are angry at their leaders for not leading and at the followers for not following. They are angry at those who do not come to church for not coming and angry at those who do come for coming without enthusiasm. They are angry at their families, who make them feel guilty, and angry at themselves for not being who they want to be. This is not an open, blatant, roaring anger, but an anger hidden behind the smooth word, the smiling face, and the polite handshake. It is a frozen anger, an anger which settles into a biting resentment and slowly paralyzes a generous heart. If there is anything that makes the ministry look grim and dull, it is this dark, insidious anger in the servants of Christ.”

Ministry can be frustrating at times. I will occasionally vent to Krista about different things and she will ask me if I am angry. I usually reply that I am not angry, just a little frustrated. Its funny how the “frustrating” things can be stifled enough for a smooth word, smiling face, and polite handshake but deep down those little frustrations turn into what Nouwen calls hidden anger, frozen anger, insidious anger. How can we keep our frustrations for building up into such things which create biting resentment and paralyze generous hearts. I think we have all known ministers who have fallen into this. We can see it in the ministries they lead and hear it in their conversations.

This section from The Way of the Heart is actually the first part of a chapter on solitude. Henri Nouwen talks about how the Desert Fathers would “swim for their lives” into the desert to escape the temptations of this world. I find it ironic that he is using swim to describe anything that happens in the desert but when we think about the release that is found in intentionally stepping back from our frustrations to let the Spirit guide us, His counsel satisfies our thirst in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So much so in fact that we can swim for our lives.

“If there is anything that makes the ministry look grim and dull, it is this dark, insidious anger in the servants of Christ.” We are not called to lead people using grim and dull ministries. The Gospel of Christ is cause for celebration. Celebration flows from a generous heart, heartfelt words, genuine smiles, and nail-scarred handshakes. Frustrations get in the way of celebrations. How can we swim for our lives and free ourselves from professional vices (like anger) without stepping out of contemporary ministry settings?

~JK

BOOKS FOR SALE!!!

2009-08-04T11:51:00.001-07:00

I am selling a bunch of my books on amazon! CLICK HERE to visit my storefront and buy my books!

~JK

Hopping Fences

2009-08-04T05:16:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up and went for a bike ride. Miriam woke up crying and after I helped her go back to sleep, I realized that by being woken up by her, I had been granted a few moments where the house was quiet and I could have some time alone. Since Krista has been encouraging me to get a hobby and was pleased I was okay with one as active as bike-riding, I figured going for a little ride would be a good chance to focus my thoughts today. I really do love mornings and find that when I push myself to actually make the best of them, I am particularly contemplative.
I rode around our neighborhood (looking at googlemaps.com first so I wouldn't get lost) and created for myself a loop that I could complete in about 20 minutes. When I returned, everyone was still asleep and I realized, I had more time to spend with God. That's when I began my search for some type of devotional literature. I looked around the house and didn't find anything worthy so I turned my search online. I went to some of my favorite spots only to find that nothing was particularly inspiring. Then it hit me....I could read the Bible!

I don't know if it is just because I have been preoccupied with church stuff or home stuff but for some reason, it is often easier to turn to devotionals rather than the Bible for spiritual nourishment. This morning though, after my "aha!" moment, I turned to John 10. I think it may have been because I rode past this large field with a horse in it, I was thinking of a pasture that my thoughts were focusing on Jesus the Good Shepherd. Here is what John said to me,

"I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture."

While I do not think that reading devotionals will save me, I do think they will deepen my relationship with God. At those times when I am in need of pasture, I quickly go to my favorite authors in hopes that they will give me just what I need. This morning, it was just the Good Shepherd. he called me back to him by the sound of his voice. Entering through him brought me the salvation this morning I needed. He allows me to "come in and go out" and it is there that I find pasture. He knows the places where this sheep can be fed and where the best feeding place are at. Funny what happens when you try to enter the pasture through the gate instead of trying to hop over fences.

~JK

Dogs and Rocks

2009-07-23T07:05:00.000-07:00

Excellent use of the marquee. Glad the catholics resolved the issue.

Dear God and Amen

2009-07-21T23:24:00.000-07:00

The practice of informal, spontaneous prayer contributes to an integrated spirituality in children in which they begin to perceive that all of life connects with transcendent realities; prayer is not compartmentalized but available and appropriate in everyday life needs and situations

~Mara Lief Crabtree, Nurturing Children's Spirituality, p. 90

When in history did our "Dear God" & "Amen" bookends become a part of our prayer life? More importantly, how did prayer become an aspect of religious life that is confined to the church walls and the dinner table? I admit that the type of prayer described above is very difficult. It wasn't until I was required to read The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence that I really began to see prayer as a conversation instead of a monologue. I have read much about the "Just a Little Talk with Jesus" ways of praying. It should be so natural that your speech sounds no different in prayer than it does when you call up a friend. I like this. Especially as my daughter begins to talk, which she does nonstop unless she is asleep or eating, I think about ways that I can help her make prayer her primary speech. How can I get her to see that everything she does can be shared with God. I am certainly not good at it myself and it is hard to branch out beyond praying for ambulances and firetrucks as they pass by to praising him for wiggly bugs and chances to share toys.

As Miriam and I learn to pray together, I hope that she can become as comfortable and excited telling God about the pizza made of sand as she digs in the backyard sandbox as she is with me. As Miriam develops her own prayer language, I learn from her. She listens to her heart and knows when God's voice is louder than all the others.

God, thank you for the informal and spontaneous moments when we are called to share our lives with you.

~JK

Change in Communion?

2009-07-20T19:05:00.000-07:00

I just started reading a new book, Nurturing Children's Spirituality: Christian Perspectives and Best Practices. At the close of the first chapter, the editor retells a story of a two year old girl, Elizabeth, who is "playing" communion in her bedroom. Elizabeth, a catholic, has a cup for the wine and small white disk representing the bread. The mom asks the her if she was hoping to change the small white disk into Jesus (catholic theology of transubstantiation - bread becomes actual body of Christ). The little girl replied, "Oh no, I change Wizbef {Elizabeth) into Jesus."

We meet each week to share in the communion with one another and with our Lord. While I do not believe the bread becomes actual body and wine becomes actual blood, I do believe the emblems represent Christ and his sacrifice. Sadly, we often put much more emphasis on how the bread represents Christ than on how WE represent Christ. I think it is important to focus on Christ's sacrifice each time we take the Lord's supper. Thanks to Elizabeth, I may start focusing on how sharing in the communion changes me to be more like Jesus.

~JK

God is Near

2009-05-17T19:34:00.001-07:00

This morning I preached a sermon that has developed out of some spiritual awareness I have had recently. I have been thinking a lot about God's nearness. God has been much nearer than I have known and felt. As I was preparing my sermon, I began tracing God's presence throughout history in the Bible. I worked my thoughts into my sermon and thought I would share them here.

When God created the world. His desire for intimacy with his creation is seen as God walks in the garden in the cool of the day. God is near his People and now we claim that nearness as our own.

When Abraham feels as though the Covenant God made with him is being threatened by a command to sacrifice the very son promised to him. God’s story shows us a God that is so close He can halt a dagger as it pierces the air before it pierces the son of a covenant.

As a half million former slaves leave Egypt for a land promised to them, God’s presence leads them by fire at night and by smoke during the day, only to marvel this baby nation by paving the way through a mighty river.

As two rebellious nations make Israelites choose sides, God’s story brings us “in your face messages” ending with “thus saith the Lord” from reluctant prophets.

God’s story takes us into a foreign land where Jews mourn the loss of a Holy City. Other prophets emerge to help them know that while they are in a distant land they worship a not so distant God who shuts lion’s mouths and visits friends in a fiery furnace.

From the least likely places God shows just how involved he is by moving the heart of King Cyrus to deliver his people back to the promised land. His involvement guides prophets to expect an even more incredible deliverance from a coming Messiah.

Here God’s story takes the most exciting turn yet. Limiting the distance more than ever, God comes down to dwell in one man. Emanuel, God with us. The very God of creation walking and talking, breathing and hurting among those he created.

Just as quickly as God makes his dwelling on Earth, it appears that he makes an about face and leaves his own Son to die. In reality his ultimate attachment to you and to me is shown by attaching his own son to a cross.

When we think that God couldn’t get any closer to showing his love for us than a nail splitting wood, God’s own spirit splits our hearts and once again God’s dwelling place is not just among his people but now inside his people.

As we join God’s story we remember Jesus words before leaving his disciples. That as we go out into the entire world Jesus says, “Surely I am with you always.”

God is near.

~JK

Empty Tombs

2009-04-15T15:37:00.000-07:00

Mark 5:1-20

I wonder what Jesus saw when he looked at this man. As soon as Jesus gets out of the boat this man comes out of the tombs to meet him. Did Jesus know that he too would one day be spending time in a tomb? Perhaps he also knew that, like the demon possessed man, no one could bind him. Chains could not hold the demoniac, hell couldn't hold Jesus. The man knew who Jesus was instantly. It was as if all the evil in the world, bound up in this one man, knew the power of "Jesus, Son of the Most High God" to put an end to the suffering. As a fellow chain-breaker, Jesus knew what freedom would mean for this man. The man (or rather the demons inside) did not want Jesus to send them away, but Jesus - perhaps seeing in the man his own after death experiences, sent them away, leaving the formerly demon-possed man in his right mind. Later something interesting happens. Everyone around wanted Jesus to leave and the man, now without demons wanted to go with him. Throughout the entire book of Mark, Jesus is commanding people not to tell about their healing. Over and over again, he commands them to keep quiet. Here, but not only here, Jesus commands him to go and tell. The only other place in the entire book that Jesus commands someone to go and tell is after his own resurrection.

When tombs become empty, then people are told to go.

~JK

At it again.

2008-06-27T05:30:00.000-07:00

Today is the last day of the class I am taking this week at ACU. It is the second to last class of my Masters in Christian Ministry. Somehow, it escaped my advisors attention that I would be saving an introduction course to the end of my graduate career but it has been nice for me. I am taking Advanced Introduction to the New Testament. What makes an "Introduction" course "Advanced" is beyond me but I am imagining it has something to do with the fact that we are required to write 500 word book reviews on 750 page books and that we discuss some things which would be a little more challenging to handle in a Sunday Morning bible class.
Dr. Curt Niccum from Oklahoma Christian has been teaching the class. He considers himself a textual critic and has an incredible understanding of Greek and how the Bible has been handed down to us. I have been soaking up the study of textual criticism like a sponge. It really is a fascinating study of how the fragments of manuscripts of a given book are often different and it is the text critic's job to decifer which reading is more accurate. It requires a depth of knowledge and understanding I will likely never obtain.
I will be getting back to Abilene around dinner time tonight. I will have enough time to do my laundary and catch up on some sleep before I leave for Brazos Valley Camp tomorrow to spend the week with the other group of people who teach me about God, preteens. The preteen age group is so exciting. They are not quite at the age where they care immensly about what people think about them but they are beginning to realize that the world of independence is much more exciting. They desire to know God and how he works in their life teaches me things that I cannot learn from those who can quote verses and diagram greek sentences. I am looking forward to the change of pace for the next week.
Keep my wife Krista and daughter Miriam in your prayers. They are in our nation's capital along with my mom (she reluctantly agreed to go vacationing in Washington D.C. so that Krista could go to a nurse practitioner conference without a stroller and child in tote...). They will be getting back to Mesquite next Wednesday.
Blessings,
~JK

Vacation Bible EXPERIENCE

2008-05-08T18:15:00.000-07:00

I know it may sound hokey but who wants to go to "School" during the summer? Mesquite Church of Christ this year has changed our big outreach event from "Vacation Bible School" to "Vacation Bible Experience." We will be be misspelling the acronym, calling it VBX. Catchy isn't it? Our theme this year is "At the Feet of Jesus" and the lessons will be based on the sermon on the mount. The whole experience will end with a Jerusalem Marketplace Festival where the children can spend the shekels they earned during the week. All the children and volunteers will be dressed in Bible times costumes. I am super excited about it and it is a real focal point of much of my workday. I am including some pictures of last year's VBS ("Splash Down: Diving Deeper into God's Word")simply because it is fun to think back on the fun times.

~JK

This was our underwater fellowship hall with life size whale and giant squid.

Beautiful woman and child (Notice Miriam getting into the theme with the goldfish on her shirt).

Our children's ministry deacon is an art teacher. he and his wife taught a class in a black light room.

Someone thought it would be an okay idea to let this guy direct VBS...

Some of the kids enjoying the underwater atmosphere! (Those older kids are trapped under the whale)

Total Money Makeover

2008-05-06T18:43:00.000-07:00

We're part of the cult....or maybe I am part of the cult. You may have heard of Dave Ramsey. We have become best friends. Actually he would probably yell at me for all the stupid financial decisions I made in college but now I think he would be on my side. That is basically because we are now doing things his way. We have known about his getting out of debt "baby steps" for a while but now we can officially say we have "bought the book." One of my new favorite stores, Mardell's, had it on sale for 7.99. Since it has been on the best-seller list and is regularly priced 24.99, it was a steal...especially since we are trying to get out of debt.

In case you are not familiar with the principles of the Total Money Makeover, its fairly simple. You start a small savings, you pay off all your debt, you never take out another loan, you start building retirement, you start a college fund for your kids, you pay off your house, then you give as much money away as you can to bless others. His plan is more detailed than that and it really does make sense. Dave Ramsey is a guy who made multi-millions, lost it all and has now worked his way back up to multi-millions. For now, I will trust his advice.

btw, I do not really think it is a cult. You just have to have, as Dave puts it - Gazelle Intensity...whatever that means.

~JK

Focusing On Numbers for a Minute

2008-05-05T20:21:00.001-07:00

I am not usually one who focuses on numbers. I tend to be more concerned with spiritual growth than numerical. Despite this, I think numbers are sometimes an indication of what areas need improvement or are going well. Today, for the first time since I began working as Children's Minister, I feel I have an acurate idea of where the children's ministry stands when it comes to DAH DAH DAH ...(*insert dramatic tension building sound effects here)...how many children we have in the Mesquite Church of Christ Children's Ministry.

Today I completed a painstaking process of collecting all the attendance forms from all 10 of our classrooms for both Sunday Morning and Wednesday Night and compiling them into one Super-Duper-All-In-One-More-Information-Than-Is-Really-Necessary-Impress-Your-College-Statistics-Professor-Microsoft-Excel Spreadsheet. Here are a few of the findings.

Based on somewhat incomplete information...From September 2007 to the end of April 2008 we had:

160 different children set foot into our children's classrooms.
50% of these are on our membership list. (That's about 80 kids for those who did as well at college statistics as me)
50% of these are visitors. (...The other 80 kids)
Sunday mornings we averaged about 28 kids in attendance.
Wednesday evenings we averaged about 33 kids.

What does all this mean?
I guess it means that now we can see that of the 80 kids who are members at our church 35% are coming on Sunday Mornings and 41% are coming on Wednesday nights.

Whether this is good or bad, I am not sure. Compiling this list helped me become aware of the fact that there needs to be more done as far as follow-up with those that visit. It also shows me which children and families could use more encouragement to be regular attenders.

Now we have to turn the information into transformation...

~JK

Building Faith at Home

2008-05-04T21:25:00.000-07:00

My blogging has been sporadic at best the last year. The blog posts I have created were not even meant to be for a blog but rather a church bulletin. Each week our church puts out an 11x17 three panel brochure we call a church bulletin. Oddly with a space that size, there is still no room for the happenings of an exciting children's ministry so part of my weekly ritual is to turn a different 11x17 page into three, front/back, inserts fully devoted to the children and families of the Mesquite Church of Christ. When I do not have enough activities to describe, the leftover room I have devoted to an article I have called, "Family of Faith." The goal of the article when written is to encourage families to deepen their relationship with Christ.

So what is the reason for this post (which will NOT appear in the Mesquite Church of Christ bulletin)? Today I had a parents meeting after church in which I unleashed the summer calendar full of events and activities designed to help enrich their children's summer with a deeper and growing relationship with Jesus. A common theme among many of the activities is that I am not planning them. I have delegated much of the responsibility of the summer's agenda to the parents. This is all in an effort to jump on the bandwagon of a movement affectionately called, "Faith at Home." I am not sure what is meant when it is referred to as a movement but the book I have been reading recently (Building Faith at Home: Why Faith at Home Must be Your Churches #1 Priority) has called it a movement. I prefer to think about it as God's grand plan for raising children.

There is a huge temptation as a children's minister to build the big bad children's program that is hugely attractive with lots of prizes and incentive for children. Especially as the minister of a congregation which has never had a children's minister before, I sometimes feel the need to make things great for kids at church. I want the children to enjoy being at church. Church should be fun. Children's Ministry programs like this grow in number. I can see what will eventually happen though, we will have children who grow up thinking church is fun, as long as there is an incentive besides spiritual growth.

I am becoming more and more convicted that my most fruitful efforts at growing children and families spiritually do not lie in exciting children's ministry programs with action songs, prizes, and creative object lessons but in changing the hearts of moms and dads.

This presents a huge problem on several levels. For one, "It is not the way Church is done." Meaning, the general model for how children gain spiritual knowledge is in the Sunday Morning Bible Class (an maybe Sunday evening or Wednesday night). It seems there is a general attitude that this is where the meat of children's spiritual meal is supposed to come from. The problem is that even churches with a long Bible class (1 hour or more - Mesquite's Bible classes last 45 minutes) that is only 2 hours a week of spiritual instruction! And that is IF the children come both Sunday Morning and Wednesday. We wouldn't tolerate this if the government said that they are only going to teach our children from 9:00-10:00am Monday morning and 1:00-2:00pm Thursday afternoon. A church based model for spiritual instruction is simply not enough.

The other problem with a "Faith at Home" model is that most of the parents do not seem to be wired for it. This is not to say that they are incapable of accomplishing the goals of a "Faith at Home" model, just that it is unfamiliar and there are likely some tools missing from the tool belt to make it happen. I could go up to any parent at church and ask them if they want their child to grow more spiritually and 100% of them would emphatically say, "YES!" I could ask those same parents if they felt like had all the resources they needed in order to make it happen and most of them would probably agree that they could manage popping out a devotional once a month or so. If I asked them how often they spend in spiritual activities as a family besides praying before meals each week, I fear the answers would not reflect their priorities.

I do not feel this is necessarily 100% the fault of the parents. I think both the problems mentioned above go hand in hand. The church has not stepped up to the plate to equip parents with what they need to make it happen and the parents have been comfortable in letting the church be the spiritual teachers of the children.

So where does this leave me?

I believe it leaves me with an incredible opportunity! We have some things in place for this summer (and hopefully the next school year) which will aim to equip parents to take charge of their children's spiritual growth and development. I feel like hiring a children's minister has lit a flame in the hearts of many of our church's families. I get excited when I see heads nodding at the idea of a class designed for parents to interact with their children AT CHURCH!! I hope that as a minister to these children and families I am able to find a pace that does not outrun the church or my own stamina.

Let me know what you think. If you have any ideas how to bridge the gap in helping parents be the spiritual leaders and build faith at home, share them.

~JK

Family of Faith 3-23-08

2008-03-21T08:22:00.000-07:00

HE IS RISEN!!!

“Death has been swallowed up in victory!
Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death is your sting?
The sting of death is sin
and the power of sin is the law.
But thanks be to God!
He gives us victory
through our Lord Jesus Christ!”
1 Corinthians 15:54b-57

Today we celebrate! We celebrate because we can give thanks to God that Jesus holds the victory over death and the victory over sin. I love this passage because of the imagery. I think about a worker bee who is trying so hard to create something that at times seems so sweet. The honey that sin offers can be enticing at times. But going after the honeycomb means that you are likely going to get stung. For some, being stung by an actual bee can mean death. For all being stung by sin meant certain death. Until….
Until DEATH WAS SWALLOWED UP IN VICTORY. Jesus drank the honey—he swallowed it up so its deadly work has NO POWER in our lives. Today as we celebrate His resurrection, we should remember that he took our sin and nailed it to the cross with his own body. The death he died for us carries the power to free us from the sting we were destined to feel.
Paul continues on in verse 58 to encourage Christians to “Stand firm, letting nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord.” His death frees us from sin. His resurrection gives us hope. Stand firm. He will return for you!

Pneumonia

2008-03-15T00:33:00.000-07:00

Miriam has Pneumonia. I have been very challenged this week by illness. Since last Saturday, my wife was diagnosed with the flu, myself with a sinus infection and my poor little girl with a double ear infection and pneumonia. It is definetely the most sick our family has ever been at one time. God has blessed us so much with good health prior to this, now we are facing a number of new challenged.

Parenthood is one adjustment after another. Krista, who is a fantastic nurse practitioner, understands the human body and its health/illness so much more than I do. She is incredibly talented in what she does and you can see it in how she treats Miriam's sickness at home. I am sure that without her, Miriam would not be in as good of shape as she is. The challenge is when I am responsible for seeing to Miriam's care on my own.

This past Thursay Krista was working and I had to take Miriam to the doctor. This was when she was diagnosed with pneumonia. I do not mind taking Miriam to the doctor one bit. The difficult part is that Krista knows all sorts of probing questions to get more information than I do. It is amazing how much more confident I feel about what is happening medically when Krista and I both go to the doctor together than when I go alone. I feverishly try to recap all the important bits of information with the doctor before leaving the examination room so that I will not forget anything that needs to be relayed to Krista when I get home. When she begins to question what happened, I provide for her a well-rehearsed summary of the doctors visit, waiting for my pat on the back for being such a good dad and husband. Then more questions I should have asked 2 hours prior are asked and I am left thinking that I didnt even know to ask those questions.

This leads me to visit WebMD. I go there to get another professional summary of what is happening. Going there and typing, "pneumonia" into the search engine provides me with the following results:

Pneumonia is a lung infection that can make you very sick. You may cough, run a fever, and have a hard time breathing. For most people, pneumonia can be treated at home. It often clears up in 2 to 3 weeks. But older adults, babies, and people with other diseases can become very ill. They may need to be in the hospital.

This is where I begin to panic slightly. What does "can become very ill" mean? How do I know when they need to go to the hospital? This raises even more questions than I had when I first did the search. In the end, I am left to trust in my wife's discernment regarding what course of action is needed hoping that I will continue to receive step by step instructions on what to do and when.

It seems that I am called more and more each day to trust in God and his working hand in the lives of those around me. The truth he created in how our bodies function and dysfunction and how he has led his creation to discover treatment for these dysfunction continues to leave me in awe of his redemtion. I cannot wait for the day when every illness and disability is vanished and every tear is wiped away because of our reunion with him. I sincerely believe that sickness is the result of mankind's sinfullness. When God banished Adam and Eve from the garden and they suffered pain and sickness for the first time, the separation from God was felt in their bodies. As we walk away from God, God is walking toward us, leading us and redeeming us. He guides us toward wellness, physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Please pray for my family as we battle illness. Please pray for our world as we battle separation from God.

~JK

Family of Faith - 9/2/07

2007-08-30T13:26:00.000-07:00

Ready or Not...

A new school year brings with it many new beginnings and challenges. It seems that every parent I have talked with this week has commented on how they were ready for the school year to begin but not ready in other ways. It seems as if this is a common theme in many areas of life. When we were preparing for Miriam to be born, we were ready and not ready. Whenever I leave for a trip, I am ready to go but there are things I am leaving behind undone.

I think the challenge is when we feel this way in our spiritual lives. Sometimes I feel like my relationship with God is going great. I am praying daily. I am in his word like I need to be. I am seeking his guidance in my life in many ways. At the same time, I feel that there is so much more I need to be doing to further my walk with him. As I am trying to walk the straight and narrow path, even though I am mostly staying between the lines, every now and then there are areas where I could do better. I am ready for the challenges that God has in store and I feel I can serve but there are still ways I could use just a little more refining.
How do we deal with this tension of being on fire for him and feeling like we could be the basis for the next super Christian action figure and feeling like we will never measure up and that Mattel would not want a spiritual weakling for an action figure? I think the problem in all of this does not have to do with a supernatural scale that God is using to determine if we are ready or not. We are not being weighed against the ideal Christian we ought to be.
When we commit our lives to service of the King, the work on us is only just beginning. 1 John 4:4 says, “Greater is he that is in you that the one that is in the world.” Whether we feel we are ready or not, God is at work in our lives making us ready. He makes us capable of dealing with the things for which we think we need more preparation. When we know that the one at work inside us is more powerful than the challenges we face in our day, we can say with assurance that, “ready or not, here I come.” Greater is He that is in you!
~Josh Kellar

Taking It Home
Ask your children if they felt ready for school this week. Ask them what they wish they could have done to feel more prepared as they started school.
After they have told you about things they wished would have been different, discuss with them about how God makes us ready for our challenges.
Challenge them to partner with God in being prepared for each day.

Family of Faith - 8/26/07

2007-08-30T07:53:00.000-07:00

Academic or Spiritual
Champions?

Each year children are sent back to school with such excitement about new beginnings and being one year closer to graduation. With all the preparations made in August, parents hope that their children are ready for the school year to begin. So much concern and effort is put toward their academics that it is hard to imagine that anything could be more important than school. It’s hard to imagine that anything could be more important than their education which will impact their future careers and success. It’s hard to imagine that with all the emphasis placed on academic achievement, there could be anything we might want to prioritize above ABC’s and 123’s. Could there possibly be anything more important?
If we were able to step out of our brand new school shoes to look at our lives, would we be able to see that there is often more emphasis on intellectual development than spiritual development? Please do not hear me saying that we should yank kids out of school and only educate them in the Bible. What I am suggesting, albeit suggesting strongly, is that the spiritual development emphasis should be tipping the scale. But how are you as a parent supposed to ensure this with all the homework, piano lessons and football practice, especially when you already attend church three times a week?
Is it really possible to raise spiritual champions in a world that makes it so much easier to raise spiritual weaklings? Excelling in school is so much easier because there are so many more resources available to ensure that children do well academically. So how is a parent wanting to raise their child up to make righteous decisions supposed to compete? Every way possible. Mark 8:36 asks, “What good is it for you to gain the whole world, yet to forfeit your soul?” I do believe that it is possible for our children to excel in school and be spiritual champions. To accomplish this, I believe that parents are going to have to use every resource available to them to compete against all the tools the world uses to create spiritual weaklings. Parents, you can do it. God does not call you to raise spiritual champions without giving you to equipment you need to cross train. Jesus says, “Take heart, for I have overcome the world.” You can compete. You can cross train. You can raise spiritual champions. Do not be afraid to prioritize spiritual health over intellectual health.
~Josh Kellar

Taking It Home
Pray each morning with your kids this week before they head off to school. Pray that God will teach them more than their teachers. Pray that they will learn about His love and His compassion.

Family of Faith - 08/19/07

2007-08-17T12:18:00.000-07:00

“Mom, have you ever done anything bad?”

I remember when I first asked that question of my parents. They got squirmy real fast and tried to change the subject to something else. As an eight year old I was able to catch on to what they were doing and their uncomfortability at my question. So I did what any eight year old would do...kept asking. What came out of that question was an atmosphere of honesty and openness between me and my dad that I would not trade for anything. There are certainly appropriate times for parents to disclose certain things about their past, and there may even be things that child will not need to ever hear about. As with any experience, our stories are full of teachable moments. When we see choices our kids make and are reminded of a poor decision we once made, what an excellent opportunity for children to see that parents do make mistakes and that it is ok to talk about them with their kids. Children tend to think that since the parents set the rules, the parents obey the rules. If having a conversation with your child about a time you broke the rules frightens you, think about the benefits to your relationship when they feel that the communication lines are open regarding mistakes they make. Children may understand that there will still be consequences but they will be more willing to accept them knowing that you as a parent can relate. Below are some tips for opening the communication doors to your past. I hope you will strive to use your stories and experiences as teachable moments for your children.

~Josh Kellar

Taking It Home
Share a time with your child when you:
1. Were surprised by God as a child
2. Failed a friend
3. Saw your parent’s faith in action
4. Learned from a mistake
5. Learned from someone else’s mistake.

Family of Faith - 8/5/07

2007-08-03T08:00:00.000-07:00

Is Your Bread Warm?

Do you ever bake bread? Do you ever eat bread fresh out of the oven? For a while, I was in the habit of making fresh bread with our bread machine. When the timer beeps indicating that the bread is done, I would rush into the kitchen and take the bread out and while it was still warm cut off a slice and eat it immediately. There is a feel good feeling associated with eating warm bread. It seems to fill your insides with warmth as well and gives you a sensation that you have been nourished in a way not possible with cold, or even stale bread.
I wonder how often when we are partaking of the bread of life, we are eating cold - or even stale - bread. When we let our relationship with God become stagnant, we are not eating warm bread. When we feel like we can stop reading His word, because we have read it before, we are eating stale bread. If God’s word is living and active then it will be fresh on our minds and hearts. The Spirit’s work in our lives will fill our insides with warmth and give us a sensation that we have been nourished in a way not possible with cold, or stale bread.
Jesus said “I Am the Bread of Life.” When we go to Him for fresh warm bread, he says we will never go hungry and we will never be thirsty. How disappointing it is to go to the bread box, hungry, wanting to be filled only to find moldy bread. Jesus is the Bread of Life, He will fill us with warm bread that won’t leave us hungry.
~Josh Kellar

Taking It Home
1. Purposefully leave a piece of bread out on the counter for a few hours. Then ask your kids to pick it up and see if they would enjoy eating a peanut butter sandwich made with that bread.
2. Make a comparison to how sometimes God’s word is neglected and our relationship with Jesus suffers.
3. Read the passage from John 6 and ask your children to think about ways the Bread of Life can be “warmed.”

Family of Faith - 7/29/07

2007-08-01T11:13:00.000-07:00

The MAGIC Ratio…

You know those couples that you look at and think, “Those two really have it all together!” You look at their family and the kids are all well behaved, they seem to always be smiling, you never hear either of them speak negatively about the other. For a second you think that they probably never argue and that nothing negative ever happens in their home. This is where John Gottman, a marriage counselor and researcher would disagree. According to him ALL couples have negative interactions. Without defining exactly what that is (because different individuals perceive what negative is differently) he says what makes these “perfect” couples different is not that they never argue. Its not that life hasn't ever dealt them a bad hand and definitely not that they just avoid their problems. Gottman says that these couples are different because the positive interactions outweigh the negative by five to one. For every negative comment made, there are five positive comments. Does this ratio seem too impossible for you and your family? You have probably never actually tried counting but what if you did? What would your family life look like if for every negative thing that happened, five positive were there fighting to make you “The perfect family.” Proverbs 15:13 says, “A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.
~Josh Kellar

Taking It Home
What would your positive to negative compliment ratio be? 1 to 1? 5 to 1? 1 to 5?
The writer of Proverbs 15 uses pretty harsh language saying that heartache crushes the spirit. Has someone in your family had their spirit crushed by negative comments made without consideration of the consequences?
Having a 5 to 1 compliment ratio does not automatically fix the negative things said. How might it make you more aware of the comments being made on a daily basis around the home?

Family of Faith - 7/22/07

2007-08-01T11:12:00.000-07:00

What EVERY
Woman Wants…

I certainly am not going to assume that I know what women think. When I hear men claiming that they know just what women think and want I shake my head and run away. However, after several conversations I have had recently I have made a conclusion. In some form or another, every woman wants sincerity. I have a hard time imagining a wife or mother who would willingly say they could do without sincerity. Can you think of a wife who doesn’t wish their husband was more passionate than her when it comes to his relationship with God? Can you think of a mother who wishes the father of her children was a little less interested in his children? The problem is, that as men, we settle for mediocrity. We make excuses for our insincerity and assume that our families will take the hit lying down. What would it look like in our families if our Husbands and Dads had as their number one priority their own spiritual health? Men who are in pursuit of a sincere relationship with God have no choice but to let that passion seep down into their other relationships, specifically their family. The challenge to increase sincerity in the hearts of our congregation’s men is not impossible. Let’s examine our hearts and see if we have allowed insincerity to characterize how we do our family relationships. If you find yourself allowing yourself to settle for mediocrity, fight back by being more intentional. Be in “hot pursuit” of God and you will find that the chase does not leave you breathless but instead drawing closer to Him.
~Josh Kellar

Taking It Home
Women: In what ways have I become “okay” with a lack of sincerity in my husband’s relationship with God?
Men: What would my relationships be like if I were more passionate about my own relationship with God?

Family of Faith - 7/15/07

2007-08-01T11:11:00.000-07:00

Here are some statistics I found on George Barna’s website, www.barna.org.

Good
79% of adolescents feel safe when they are at home
69% say their family eats together at least five nights a week.
64 % say they can trust their parents to do what is right for the child.
91% of adolescents get punished by their parents for using bad language
74% said their parents enforce a strict curfew.
67% said the amount of T.V. they are allowed to watch is limited by their parents.

Not So Good
38% of young people said that churches have made a positive difference in their life.
34% said that prayer is very important to them.
43% rejected the notion that they would rather be popular than do what is morally right.
56% of children believe they will have a great life.
57% contend that they look forward to spending free time with their family.
35% of pre-teens said they find it easy to talk to their parents about everything that is happening in their life.

What does all of this mean? It means that parents are, in general, active in the lives of their children. The exception to this is when it comes to spiritual matters. These stats reflect that when it comes to their children’s faith, parents are much less influential.
~Josh Kellar

Taking It Home

Just one question this week:

Are you ok with these statistics?

Family of Faith - 7/8/07

2007-08-01T11:09:00.002-07:00

Isn't it amazing that VBS is already here? It seems like I just started working with Mesquite a few weeks ago. The theme for this year is all about trusting God. I hope as a family you will take the opportunity to talk with your kids about trust and even more importantly, live out your trust in God as an example to them. Think about how often your children see and hear you worrying about things. Do your children hear more about how tight the finances are than how much you rely on God to meet your needs? Do your children see how you pray when there are difficult decisions to be made? God feeds the birds of the air and He dresses the lilies of the field (Matt. 6). He will meet your needs as well. He has a course set out for your family and he is not going to require you to set sail without providing the wind. Sometimes trust in God requires an enormous amount of faith. Jonah thought God was crazy for sending him to Nineveh. Elijah knew his God could torch an altar soaked in water. The disciples interrupted Jesus’ nap not trusting that even though he could feed 5,000 he could not save them from a storm. Different people respond to worry in different ways. God calls of us all to trust. I hope God will teach you and your family this week about dependence on him during challenging situations.
~Josh Kellar

Taking It Home

What are the times when it is most difficult for you to trust?
Read Matthew 6:25-34. When Matthew says, “Each day has trouble of its own” what does he mean?
What are some of the troubles that you have experienced in the last 24 hours?
How have you trusted or not trusted God when it comes to these problems?
Pray as a family about the specific things you deal with and ask God to help you trust in him more.

Family of Faith - 7/1/07

2007-08-01T11:09:00.001-07:00

We mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

Do these words ring a bell? If not, I would encourage you to go online and read a document called, “The Declaration of Independence.” Written by a man named Thomas Jefferson, this document holds within it the basis for our independence as a nation. Its interesting that each year we celebrate the 4th of July and rarely call it “Independence Day.” Whether we celebrate the day or not, all who live in this country benefit from the freedom provided by others, whether present or past. In our nation’s 231 year history since it was written, we have seen in action how, “We mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.” As Christians, we kick things up a notch. Our responsibilities to each other are not simply the result of our citizenship in America but also our citizenship in Heaven. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free” (Gal. 5:1). Our freedom in Christ carries with it the privilege of mutually pledging our lives, our talents, and our integrity to each other. I hope you will take a chance to read the Declaration of Independence this week, and also reflect on our Freedom in Christ and the heavenly citizenship it brings.
~Josh Kellar
Taking It Home
Ask your children what freedoms they have living in America.
Talk with them about the cost of freedom. “Freedom isn’t always free!”
Ask one of your children to read aloud John 8:34-36. Ask what it would be like to be a slave.
So what does it mean to be a slave to sin?
What does it mean that Christ has set us free from our slavery to sin? (Younger children may not fully understand this. It’s ok! You are laying a foundation)

Family of Faith - 6/24/07

2007-08-01T11:08:00.000-07:00

Headline: “Obscenity is not protected by the 1st Amendment!!”

Believe it or not, exactly 50 years ago today, June 24th 1957, the U.S. Supreme Court decided that obscenity was not a constitutional right and thus was not protected by the 1st Amendment. Also interesting is that 50 years to the day after this ruling, I am at Brazos Valley Camp preaching a sermon to a group of 3-6th graders on how to resist following the leader when the leader is using profane language! Despite the Supreme Court ruling, obscenity still pervades our culture and the children learn it. Even more sadly is that the children often learn this language from their parents. We read passages like James 3:9-10 and think that our mouths do only praise and not cursing. Our children do most of their learning not from teachers at school or ministry volunteers at church but from parents! Gladly, parents, you have the ability to show them how, “from the heart the mouth speaks.” When you heart is filled with the spirit, the fruits of the spirit will be produced. Think this week about how the words we say show our love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
~Josh Kellar
Taking It Home
When is it most difficult for you to talk nicely?
Are there times when you want to say hurtful things that you are able to hold them back?
Have a child read James 3:3-8. Discuss each of the metaphors used to describe the tongue so the children understand what James is saying (i.e. bits in horses mouths, a ship’s rudder, a tongue on fire.)
If a tongue is like fire, what kind of damage can it do?
Talk with your children about how even fire can be helpful sometimes if it is under control (i.e. a campfire for cooking or a candle for providing light).
Have children brainstorm other ways fire is helpful and how their tongues can be used for good instead of evil.

Family of Faith - 6/17/07

2007-08-01T11:07:00.000-07:00

The best thing a man can do for his children…..

Happy Father’s Day! I hope all the father’s feel a special pride today whether you are young or old. I have only been a father for 9 months but I am incredibly proud of my family. I began preparing for fatherhood long before I became a dad. I even began preparing for fatherhood before I married Krista. For me, I watched my dad while I was growing up and, whether I knew it or not, was taking note of what it means to be a good father. There were good things I learned and mistakes I learned from. Probably the most influential thing my dad did to prepare me for fatherhood was loving my mom. Of all the things that stand out and mean the most to me, it is that my dad loves my mom. I think more than participating in sporting or school events or setting aside family time, the thing that will have the most lasting impact on your children is if you have a genuine and sincere love for their mother. People have asked me before, “How can I be a good father?” my response has always been, “The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother.” I hope you will remember that this father’s day and love your kids by loving their mom!
~Josh Kellar
Taking It Home
Have the kids make a list of everything that makes a “good” father.
Ask them to think about the ways that God meets these characteristics as our Heavenly Father.
Read Deuteronomy 4:9 together. How do our experiences -”the things our eyes have seen”- shape us as a family?
Ask the children to think of things they will always remember about they way they see their parents loving each other.
If you are brave, ask the children ways they think you could love your spouse more. Children are very perceptive!

Family of Faith - 6/10/07

2007-08-01T11:06:00.001-07:00

“How is your family doing?” asked one minister to a man in his congregation. “Oh, we’re surviving,” said the man.

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard people say they are surviving in response to their life situation. This is certainly good news to hear in many situations where there have been some tragic circumstances in which the family has to make adjustments to the way they live. For these families, I am glad to hear they are surviving. Sadly, this is often the response for many others as well. I have even said it myself, “If I can just survive the next 2 weeks, all will be well.” Am I setting the standard too low in merely trying to survive. What would happen if instead of setting my hopes on being able to survive, I desired to thrive instead? Would it mean that I would have to take a look at what is filling up my life and decide which extra things make merely surviving my best option? It’s very likely. Would this change my life so dramatically that I would have to give some things up? It probably would. Would this mean that keeping certain things in my life are a liability and threaten my ability to thrive? That’s exactly what it means. If we want our families to thrive instead of just survive we have to realize what it means to pursue more in life than just getting by. Jesus came that we might have life more abundantly (John 10:10). How are you going to help your family thrive instead of survive?

Taking It Home
What are some things in our life that make us feel busy?
Are these things we HAVE to do, or are they extra?
What do you think would change if we did not feel so busy all the time?
Read John 10:10. If there were a thief in your life, what would he be trying to steal?
How does being busy make it easier for the “thief” to steal it?
Create a family plan to protect yourself from “the thief.”

Family of Faith - 6/3/07

2007-08-01T11:03:00.000-07:00

Good elders are gentle, hands-on shepherds who smell like sheep

. This quote from Lynn Anderson’s book, They Smell Like Sheep, made me think about the elders here at Mesquite. Isn’t it great that we have such men who are willing to lead our congregation? As the children hear lessons like Steve preaches this morning, they learn about what spiritual leadership is all about. They come to understand how God has chosen to be among his people. Jesus, the “Good Shepherd” smelled like his sheep. The men chosen as elders of this congregation seek to impersonate Jesus in this way. As Anderson also says, “When elders shepherd, they imitate the ways of Jesus and reflect the very heart of God”

Taking It Home
Below is a short devotional you can use based off the lesson this morning that you can do as a family. I would encourage you to talk with your kids about what happens on Sunday mornings. I hope this is one way of assisting with that. Set aside family time for devotionals. Sing! Read! Pray!

1. Read Psalm 23 together and answer the following.
2. What do you think of when you hear the word shepherd?
3. What sorts of things must shepherds do to make sure they take care of the sheep?
4. Can you name all four elders of the Mesquite Church of Christ? Explain that sometimes elders are also referred to as shepherds.
5. In what ways do the elder/shepherds of the Mesquite Church of Christ take care of the sheep? (At this point you may need to explain a little further that the members are the sheep).
6. Ask and encourage your children to think of ways they can show respect and thanks to the Shepherds for what they do.

Family of Faith - 5/27/07

2007-08-01T11:01:00.000-07:00

I was told that I need to start putting my Bulletin Inserts on my blog. I will start at the beginning and post all the ones I have done so far. Enjoy!

Greetings! As the children get out of school, I hope that you will find opportunities to fill your summer with times which enrich your family and grow closer to God. Since the bulletin is always filled with much other important information, I hope that this insert will be helpful in keeping up with important events about the children’s ministry and that you will refer to it each week. I also hope that you will be blessed by our meeting together each Sunday. As a way of extending the faith formation of Sundays into the home each week, I hope that this insert will provide further opportunities for you to grow as a family. Use the questions presented here to have discussions with your children. Learn how to find “teachable moments” with your child as you (and they) experience the world. Find ways of applying the lessons learned from class and worship into everyday settings. As always, I am here to help in any way possible. Please let me know what is needed.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!

2007-05-13T12:29:00.000-07:00

S.O.A.R.= Spotlight On A Relationship
Soar: To rise or aspire to a higher or more exalted level.

Someone described the fullness of Joy in this way. Being full of joy is like filling a balloon with water. The balloon is full of water long before it reaches its capacity. You can always experience more joy and still be full of joy. Krista brings me joy. She has always brought me joy and the day we got married, I was full of joy....then she became a mother. Now, I have even more joy because I am able to see in her every single day what a great mother looks like. She is wonderful. I love the way she loves my daughter. The relationship between them is incredible. I think Miriam likes to be held by me but when she is really upset, she wants her mommy. This doesn't bother me, I like the fact that Krista is such a good mom that she is the only one that can Make Miriam feel better. Daily, Krista challenges me to be a better parent. She does this by the incredible relationship she has with Miriam. I am glad that today, can be one day our nation chooses to recognize this relationship and provides me with another excuse to brag on Krista.

~JK

Life and Livelihood

2007-05-13T12:12:00.000-07:00

This morning was the very first Sunday I worshipped with the Mesquite Church of Christ as the Children's Minister. We experienced such a warm welcome. Several individuals invited us to their homes for lunch, worried that we might be celebrating mother's day by ourselves. It was interesting this morning as, in a way we felt like visitors (this was only our second time worshipping with them) but at the same time, we knew that now this is not only our church family but also my employer. Church as been such an integral part of my life since I was born, now it is not only my life but also my livelihood. I am excited to see how this changes things. This morning, several people already began asking me about different projects and things they would like my input on. I think I will likely hit the ground running this week.

~JK

Mandated STD Vaccine for Preteen Girls?

2007-04-27T08:58:00.000-07:00

I'd like your reaction to an article I recently read in the New York Times.

Here is a short summary:

- TX State Governor, Rick Perry, attempted to push a mandated law stating that girls 11-12 years old would be required to get vaccinated against HPV.
- HPV (Human Papillomavoirus) is a sexually transmitted disease which research has shown to cause cervical cancer.
- His proposal was overwhelmingly vetoed by state legislature and will be revisited in 4 years.
- Parents could opt to allow their daughters to not receive the vaccine.
- The Center for Disease Control has described the vaccine (Gardasil) as safe and effective when given as directed for girls aged 9-26.
- The vaccine is given in 3 shots over 8 months.

What are your thoughts/reactions? Read the article, let me know what you think!

~JK

Spiritually Unemployable?

2007-04-26T06:46:00.000-07:00

There are some people who are totally unemployable in the spiritual realm. They are spiritually feeble and weak, and they refuse to do anything unless they are supernaturally inspired. The proof that our relationship is right with God is that we do our best whether we feel inspired or not.

~Oswald Chambers

Every now and then I will read something that gets me charged. It may be a daily devotional or passage from the Bible. I feel that I can run marathons for God because of this newly inspired self. To be honest there are times when I feel like hiding from people and ministry and feel that I cannot do it. If you ask Krista, she will say that I am more introverted than extraverted. I do not feel that introverts cannot be good ministers, but in many ways I like myself better when I feel I am the "inspired, go-getter, people person." I sometimes feel that I am disappointing God if I am not.

Oswald Chambers says that some people are "unemployable" in the spiritual realm. I think by this he means that the people who always feel the need for "inspired, go-get-em, spiritually supercharged," revelations are unreliable. In fact I think sometimes I look for opportunities to serve where, to be successful, that is the type of power I need. Instead, I think I need to find ways of serving where I feel empowered regardless of any inspiration I may or may not have received. Then when I do get a charge, that area of service can receive a boost and be blessed even more.

~JK

A Filtered Life

2007-04-25T14:14:00.000-07:00

Friday is my last day of work. I have been thinking a lot about the 8.5 months I have worked here at Hope for Tomorrow. HFT is a foster agency which services all of Texas and is about to enter Oklahoma, Arkansas and Mexico. My job has been Clinical Director for half of Texas' 10 regions.

I was not too excited about my actual job description when I began. Basically, I was to read and correct treatment plans on children making sure that all the necessary components were included and that the grammar and spelling, etc. was correct. Interacting with children and foster parents was not in my job description. Despite not being the kind of guy that really likes paperwork, I found a certain joy in my job.
In a lot of ways I had a filtered glimpse at the abused lives of the children we serve. Every child placed with HFT is removed from their home by the state due to abuse or neglect. Some cases are much worse than others but what I see is only words on a page. Those words are descriptive of actions and behaviors that are the result of the shattered lives these kids have lived. They only describe in a simplified way the beatings, verbal attacks, sexual invasion, and abandonment these kids have experienced.

Sometimes I was glad all I saw was a filtered glimpse of their lives.
We do not like to think that these things happen. We think it is atrocious when they do. We may offer a prayer over lunch for the kid we heard about on the news, but then we often go back to our filtered lives.
On the rare occasion that I have gotten to interact with a child that has come into the office, I am sometimes shocked by how "normal" the child appears given his/her history. Sometimes I even get uncomfortable because my life is not so filtered anymore. There is now a face to put with the name.
How close can I get without getting hurt? I want to help but not at the expense of my own comfort and well-being. I would like to do something for these kids but I am afraid I might get too invested and then experience loss when I (or they) move on. These are some thoughts I have had since I began working here.
Now I am transitioning into children's ministry. Can I be invested without risk? My time at HFT has shown me that I cannot. When I attempt to keep safe my filtered life, I sacrifice relationships that could grow. Kids do not receive the care they need when we do not put ourselves 100% out there for them. Unless we are willing to become vulnerable to the hurt they feel, we will not be doing them good. Their lives have been plagued by "caregivers" who held back love.

I hope that the children I work with in Mesquite will find that I am someone who does not hold back and is willing to live a life unfiltered by my own self-preservation. I hope that I am able to make them feel that when I am with them, they are cherished by God. I hope they know that there isn't anyone who can love them as much as he.

~JK

The Brick Testament!

2007-04-04T14:19:00.000-07:00

I found this cool site throgh another friend's blog. This guy has created thousands of scenes from the Bible using leggos. He took pictures to create a Leggo story book of various Bible stories.

Try and guess the stories below!

This one's a toughie!

This is a little easier!

Check it out here!

(Permission granted from "Brick Testament" creator for use of all pictures)

~JK

A Minister of Pain

2007-04-03T07:23:00.000-07:00

Here is an interesting quote from My Utmost for His Highest.

Never be afraid when God brings back your past. Let your memory have its way with you. It is a minister of God bringing its rebuke and sorrow to you. God will turn what might have been into a wonderful lesson of growth for the future.

Sometimes the hurt from our past is something that we try to stifle and push down so its harm can no longer, "have its way with us." What vivid imagery to describe the effects that our shame and hurt possesses sometimes. Chambers says this is a minister of God. Its difficult to think sometimes that any minister of God would want to surface some repressed hurt from our past. But, at times, this is necessary. When God brings back your past, let your memory have its way with you. How is God trying to minister to you through the pain, the hurt, and the shame which you have tried to suppress?

~JK

It Was The No-Armed Mom!!

2007-04-02T14:49:00.001-07:00

I love being a dad! Sometimes I complain about somethings but this puts me in my place and lets me know how easy I have it.

Children with Cell Phones!?!

2007-03-29T13:25:00.000-07:00

I just got done reading this article that was discussing how having a cell phone is becoming more and more popular for the tween age (ages 8-12). On the one hand I find this disturbing. Do we as parents feel so insecure about our children's safety (when they should be supervised by adults who likely have cell phones of their own) that we need to cave into their desires for a techno-tool that will likely lose its appeal after a day or two? On the other hand, I think it could be a good way of teaching responsibility if the parents are going to use it as such. According to the article, 90% of all calls are not necessary. "Fluff" as the author says. If a child wants the cell phone as a status symbol why not use it as a chance to teach about earning the $50 gadget plus the whopping $25 charge for each 200 minutes. This didn't seem to be an issue 5 years ago. It makes me wonder what Miriam is going to be wanting 5 years from now. She will probably need a lap top for her pre-K class. Who knows.

~JK

Children's Ministry!!!!

2007-03-27T14:05:00.001-07:00

Here's the latest:

I have accepted a job as Children's Minister at the Mesquite Church of Christ in Mesquite, TX. Our first Sunday will be May 13th, 2007.
I have given my notice with Hope for Tomorrow. My last day will be April 27th, 2007.
We put our house on the market March 13th, 2007
We received an offer on our house by the second looker on March 20th, 2007
We will be moving out of our house April 20th, 2007.
The Mesquite Church of Christ has a house they will let us live in and we will be able to use the garage as storage as they repaint/refloor.
Our good friends Doug and Linda Foster & Dannie and Shelley Rio have offered for us to stay with them after we move out until we officially move into our home in Mesquite.

We are extremely excited about this move, yet we will miss our friends in Abilene terribly. We are looking forward to the possibilities that the Metroplex has to offer for Krista as a Nurse practitioner. It will be very exciting to watch Miriam grow up in the context of a Children's Program where I am the minister. Please keep us in your prayers as we make these life transitions!

~JK

Fan the Flame

2007-02-07T05:37:00.000-08:00

There may be a great fire in our soul, yet no one ever comes to warm himself at it, and the passersby only see a wisp of smoke coming through the chimney, and go along their way. Look here, now what must be done? Must one tend the inner fire, have salt in oneself, wait patiently yet with how much impatience for the hour when somebody will come and sit down - maybe to stay? Let him who believes in God wait for the hour that will come sooner or later. ~Vincent van Gogh
This was quoted by Henri J.M. Nouwen in The Way of the Heart. He is talking about silence. He uses this quote to reflect on how we seldom tend the inner fire of our souls. We want others to be warmed by it so badly that we stand with the door open saying, "Come inside and get warmed!" Yet, all this really does is cool the inside which was once warm. Instead, we ought to stoke to fire and get it roaring. You can tell about the warmth inside by looking at the chimney. A wisp of smoke means a weak fire.

Henri Nouwen says that, "The word is the instrument of the present world and silence is the mystery of the future world." By choosing not to speak, we keep the door closed and wait patiently for the hour to come when someone will see the billows of smoke escaping from our chimney, and then - sooner or later - someone will knock on the door and find warmth inside.

~JK

My Clinging Fears and Single Minded Attention to Christ

2007-02-02T06:15:00.000-08:00

"Only in the context of grace can we face our sin; only in the place of healing do we share our wounds; only with a single-minded attention to Christ can we give up our clinging fears and face our own true nature. As we come to realize that it is not we who live, but Christ who lives in us, that he is our true self, we can slowly let compulsions melt away and begin to experience the freedom of the children of God."

~Henri Nouwen, The Way of the Heart

I saw this painting, Mathias Grünewald's Isenheim Altar, a long time ago. I did not realize what it was until reading Nouwen's Way of the Heart and googling it to see what he was talking about. It illustrates the above passage. It seems we often try to fight our "demons" in a context where there is no grace and forgiveness. I often will ask for forgiveness knowing that I do not deserve it but also feeling like I cannot really have it. I am not sure why I do this, perhaps because I often fail repeatedly and do not want to feel that the grace being offered is cheap. I think it probably cheapens the grace even more when I do not ask for forgiveness in a context of grace with only Christ in mind. If I could think about Christ and becoming like him when I am in need of forgiveness, then perhaps I would not feel that the grace being offered is unattainable. In Grünewald's painting, St. Anthony is in need of help and Christ is right there to provide it.

~JK

Godly Husbands: Reflecting the Image of Christ for our Wives

2007-01-22T08:25:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I did my first workshop for a church. I was asked to do a workshop for newly married husbands. When I arrived I found that there were only 3 (out of 11) who had been married for less than 3 years. Some had been married for nearly 60 years! It was incredibly humbling to hear the responses from the men who have been married for so long. They were so eager to learn and continue to work on their marriages.

We focused primarily on Ephesians 5 and what exactly it means to love our wives as Christ loves the church. We discussed how we are wired differently to show love and accept respect. I feel the discussion went very well. Preaching there Sunday morning was also a pleasure. The topic of faithfulness and commitment is always something I enjoy preaching about. "God is more faithful than we are." It sounds like a no-brainer but the implications of this for our relationships seems to be far reaching and at times quite difficult. I look forward to opportunities in the future to do similar workshops.

~JK

Young Husbands Workshop

2006-11-29T12:52:00.000-08:00

I have my first weekend seminar lined up! Sometime in January, I will be conducting a 6 hour Saturday workshop with the Northwest Church of Christ in Abilene. The tentative plan is for the workshop to be for young (by young, I think the church means newly married) husbands! I am excited to begin this aspect of my ministry. I hope that this will only be the start of a variety of similar weekend speaking engagements I am asked to be a part of.

If you have any suggestions that you think would be valuable for this workshop on young husbands, leave a comment.

~JK

Does God Always Get What He Wants? part 2

2006-11-16T13:35:00.000-08:00

There was a resounding (if all 5 comments can be considered resounding) no to this question when I first posted it. It seems that the common thread behind the answer was that because God's plan and ours, i.e. eternal life, not to perish, seek him, are not always the same. That is pretty much the answer I expected to hear.

Let me ask a follow up question.

If God does not always get what he wants, why do we so often attribute the good and/or bad things that happen in our lives (or someone else's) to God not wanting or wanting it to happen? I hear all the time, "I guess that just wasn't what God had in mind," or, "Maybe that just wasn't in God's plan." Do we really mean, "Since things didn't work out the way that I thought they should, I will say it was God's idea" - so that we will feel better about the circumstance?

Is saying, "God didn't want such and such to happen," our way of not throwing a temper tantrum?Or is it possible that God really didn't want things to turn out the way that they did, or that God wanted things to turn out how we did not want?
.
Tell me your thoughts. Leave a Comment.
~JK

Good Advertising?

2006-11-15T14:04:00.000-08:00

I came across this interesting article the other day. Entitled, "Are we sinning yet" it talks about one Canadian website's attempts to create spiritual dialogue about subjects that perhaps non-Christians do not often think about. I am interested in this because the website has placed ads in magazines in newspapers which take a different approach to advertising. I will let the ads speak for themselves below. What I want to know is would this approach be tolerated in the Bible-Belt, where it seems that advertising tactics have mainly included quippy sayings on marquee boards. Tell me what you think. I included the picture and cited the caption underneath because the font text is too small in the picture!

-Would you still take your kids? After all, isn't Christmas supposed to be about Him, not the guy in the red suit? Or can it be about both? Share your opinion at http://www.wondercafe.ca/, the home of lively discussion on spiritual topics, moral issues and life's big questions.

"Does anyone object?" - What do you think? Let us know at www.wondercafe.ca, the home of lively discussion on spiritual topics, moral issues and life's big questions.

Green Tag " __ Agree", Red Tag " __ Disagree" - Want to explore your spirituality in a place that's as open-minded as you? Drop by www.wondercafe.ca and join the discussion.

"How much fun can sex be before it's a sin?" - Moral issues, spiritual topics, life's big questions - they're all up for discussion at www.wondercafe.ca. So drop by and pull up a chair.

On tag, "WARNING: some re-assembly of priorities and beliefs may be required." - Parenthood changes everything - including how you view the world. Every day at www.wondercafe.ca people like you explore and discuss spiritual topics, moral issues and life's big questions. So drop by, pull up a chair and join the discussion.

"__ Funny, __ Ticket to Hell" - What do you think? Let us know at www.wondercafe.ca, the home of lively discussion on spiritual topics, moral issues and life's big questions.

Tell me your thoughts.

~JK

You Complete Me, My Better Half.

2006-11-14T13:49:00.000-08:00

"You complete me." I remember when the movie that popularized this phrase came out. I don't think I was allowed to see it (I still have only seen the first few minutes). I have seen the scene where Tom Cruise says this line to Renee Zellweger. Since then, I have heard people say this or similar things to it over and over again. I have often wondered what exactly it means. Even though it was meant to be romantic, I think it portrays an incredibly unhealthy way of interacting in a relationship. When one person is so dependent on another that when they are not together, they cannot function, there is a problem. This is no different than saying, "She is my other half." I am guilty of saying this. Usually in the form of, "She is my better half." Its a nice flattering thing to say but is it really the way that we should establish ourselves within our marriage union?

There are a lot of fancy psychological words used to describe this idea. Differentiation of Self, Undifferentiated Ego Mass, Internal Locus of Self. All of them are basically describing one thing. A confidence in one's self that is so solid that if one was separated from any other particular person or group of people, they would still be able to function in a healthy way. We are of course not talking in spiritual terms here (There is a whole additional blog post devoted to differentiation and spirituality). Its a wonderful thing when two people can come together not because they need each other but because they want each other. This deepens the relationship to a level that is more voluntary and vulnerable.

What would marriages look like if instead of being with someone because they met a need and filled an empty void, we entered into these relationships because there is something about the other that is so desirable that (I almost said, "we can't live without") if they felt the same desire and passion for us, a glimpse of heaven on earth would be seen. I don't want to live in a world where I need things. I don't want to live in a world where I am needed. I want to live in a world where those in relationship with me are there because of desire and admiration.

~JK

Does God Always Get What He Wants?

2006-11-11T01:51:00.000-08:00

Leave a comment.

A follow-up will be posted soon.

~JK

Perfect!

2006-11-08T14:51:00.000-08:00

Does this picture really need an explanation?

~JK

The Face of Christ

2006-11-06T14:30:00.000-08:00

This song has struck me pretty hard a few times this week. Maybe I am becomeing more aware of the poverty around me because of various things happening at church or interacting with the shattered lives of children who have been the victims of poverty related lifestyles. Its amazing how viewing the world with the lenses of this song have caused me to rethink what is important and how I react to the "crises" in my own life.

Face of Christ, by Chris Rice

He shares a room outside with a dozen other guys
And the only roof he knows is that sometimes starry sky
A tattered sleeping bag on a concrete slab is his bed
And it's too cold to talk tonight
So I just sit with him instead and think

How did I find myself in a better place
I can't look down on the frown on the other guy's face
‘Cause when I stoop down low, look him square in the eye
I get a funny feeling, I just might be dealing
With the face of Christ

After sixteen years in a cold, gray prison yard
Somehow his heart is soft, but keeping simple faith is hard
He lays his Bible open on the table next to me
And as I hear his humble prayer
I feel his longing to be free someday

How did I find myself in a better place
I can't look down on the frown on the other guy's face
‘Cause when I stoop down low, look him square in the eye
I get a funny feeling, I just might be dealing
With the face of Christ

See you had no choice which day you would be born
Or the color of your skin, or what planet you'd be on
Would your mind be strong, would your eyes be blue or brown
Whether daddy would be rich, or if momma stuck around at all

So if you find yourself in a better place
You can't look down on the frown on the other guy's face
You gotta stoop down low, look him square in the eye

And get a funny feeling, ‘cause you might be dealing

...How did I find myself in a better place
I can't look down on the frown on the other guy's face
‘Cause when I stoop down low, look him square in the eye
I get a funny feeling, I just might be dealing
With the face of Christ

~JK

I No Longer Live

2006-11-03T14:45:00.000-08:00

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me." Gal. 2:20

What does this mean?

I am laying my life down willingly.

I am not going to choose to be rescued.

I am going to forgive others.

I am going to depend on God.

I am going to suffer.

I am worth death on a cross.

I am going to rise again.

I am eternal.

~JK

S.O.A.R. - Spotlight On A Relationship

2006-11-02T07:21:00.000-08:00

Soar: To rise or aspire to a higher or more exalted level.

Today is my parent's

Wedding Anniversary!

Mom and Dad (Jeff and Terri Kellar) have been married for 27 years. They have 3 kids and 3 grandkids! Dad serves as the Worship Minister for Kingwood Church of Christ and Mom works for The Mudpie Company, a paint your own pottery studio. Mom and Dad have been an example to me of what it means to be committed through thick and thin. I look up to them for their dedication to each other as well as their devotion to the Lord. As they become more experienced in ministry, it is incredible to see how God is using their experiences to bless those around them.

Mom and Dad, I'm proud of you!

~JK

Love, Hesitation, & Obedience

2006-11-02T06:15:00.000-08:00

If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation. If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.
~Oswald Chambers

What are the implications of this statement? Does our love for God and Christ merit, unquestionable obedience? Is obedience or disobedience automatically a reflection and indication of our love? Are we really hesitant to listen because we love someone or something else or have we simply temporarily forgotten that He is the way? Is my love for someone else (not myself) ever going to come into contrast with obedience to Him and if it does, does that mere hesitation mean I love the other more than Christ? Are we called to live unhesitant lives where we do not think about the weight of our love and the possible outcome of not living in sync with it?

~JK

Taking the Fat out of Fatherhood

2006-10-27T06:54:00.000-07:00

Here are some tendencies and assumptions I have noticed that I have as a father:

If there is something I need to do, Krista will take care of Miriam.
Every diaper I change is, by far, dirtier than any Krista changes.
If Miriam is crying and I have not been able to get her to stop, Krista knows the automatic answer and handing Miriam to her will serve as a cry-plug, thus ending the crying.
Krista does not mind being used as a cry-plug.
I seem to expect that when I get home the 9 hours I have put in are more stressful and demanding than the 9 hours Krista has put in, and I deserve a short break.

Luckily I did not notice (or these were not brought to my attention) all at once. The learning curve is pretty huge right now but I feel like the implications of these assumptions I have are pretty far reaching. Also the response to one assumption or tendency has impact over a wide range of other selfish actions. I have thought a lot about why I do some of these things and really what it comes down to is entitlement.

Entitlement describes a way of looking at life that says, “I am owed something.” It says, “Other people should cater to my needs because I have done something or I am a certain way that is deserving.” In essence it disregards the accomplishments and validity of other people and places the ownership of all the appreciation that is due on one person.

I have realized that this entitlement attitude is, ironically, what creates lazy, fat fathers. When fathers come home from work and decide without discussing with their wives that they deserve a break and sit in front of the television for an hour, this is entitlement. When after working a 40 or more hour week a man decides that he can go hunting or golfing over the weekend, leaving his wife and kids at home, this is entitlement. Unfortunately when fathers get home and need a drink to relax, and feel that one beer just isn’t enough to reward such hard work, this is entitlement. I am not suggesting that I do all these things, nor that all these things are bad at all times. I am suggesting that recognition and appreciation is not something we take, it is something we are given. When we demand time for ourselves and show an attitude of entitlement we are the only ones doing any appreciating.

The reason I say we need to take the fat out of fatherhood is not because I believe that all fathers are overweight. I simply believe that there is often a selfish, inward focused attitude behind the attitudes of fathers. I am also not suggesting that this same attitude is always at the center of overweight people. The focus here is on entitlement. How much more rewarding would the hunting trip or afternoon of golf be if it were something granted to husbands instead of taken. I think that when recognition is given to moms for their hard work and when they are shown that their full-time job of taking care of children is not taken for granted, the husbands will only find a sense of entitlement because it is given to them by their families. I think at this point it will no longer be entitlement but rather privilege.

~JK

Worthy or Not?

2006-10-26T11:09:00.000-07:00

If you wish to learn and appreciate something worth while, then love to be unknown and considered as nothing. Truly to know and despise self is the best and most perfect counsel. To think of oneself as nothing, and always to think well and highly of others is the best and most perfect wisdom. Wherefore, if you see another sin openly or commit a serious crime, do not consider yourself better, for you do not know how long you can remain in good estate. All men are frail, but you must admit that none is more frail than yourself.
~Thomas à Kempis

Are we worthy or not? I have recently been struggling through the tension of our worthiness before God. It seems that I hear many different perspectives on it. “In order to find grace we must realize our unworthiness,” “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Heb 4:16),” “Love to be unknown and considered as nothing.” Where do I find myself in my relationship to God? Am I worthy or not? Should I only consider myself unworthy when I am thinking about other people? Does God only consider me worthy if I am making myself unworthy? Should I really love to be unknown and considered as nothing and is this what God desires for me to strive for if he himself loves me and considers me a child of his. Are we worthy or not?

~JK

The Character of Parenthood

2006-10-19T10:38:00.000-07:00

There are several things that have been swimming through my head recently regarding children. A mixture of events has caused me to seriously reflect the nature of parenthood and how people are so different when it comes to the experiences which give their parenting a specific personality.

Several people have commented on how laid back Krista and I are as parents. I am not sure why we so laid back or what exactly they mean by that, but (right now) it seems like a good thing. I am constantly learning about what it takes for me to be a good dad. Krista will be returning to work soon and I will need to be able to take care of Miriam on my own. I am not sure I am totally ready for this. The biggest challenge is feeding her. I have tried to give her a bottle several times and she can definetely tell a difference. This means there is a lot of loud screaming and wigling around in her efforts to communicate with me that my efforts to feed her are not adequate. In this situation, I am forced to be calm and patient.

....not always easy.

We have some good friends here in Abilene who have been on an emotional roller coaster recently with their own pregnancy. They were overjoyed when they found out they were pregnant, heartbroken when the ER doctor told them they were having a miscarriage, slightly relieved when their OBGYN told them to disregard the ER doctor's prognosis and now they are living week to week waiting and hoping that they will continue to hear good news. Six weeks into pregnancy and their prespective on parenting is already being shaped by the prospect of losing a child. In the midst of it, they have found comfort and care in the prayers and concerns of their church family.

At work, I am constantly reminded that there are some who handle the pressure much differently. I get the feeling that what characterizes their parenting is not patience and calmness, seeing the child as one of the most precious gifts God could ever give them. Rather the child is a burden, one that is an inconvenience and disposable. Why else would a parent voluntarily give up their parental rights of the child over to the state, or pass their daughter around to a group of boyfriends or hold their son's hands in a pot of hot oil?

Through it all, I am convinced that the meaning behind God our father and us his children sheds light onto what parenthood should be characterized by. We are not disposable, it isnt always easy but there is always someone who cares.

~JK

Miriam

2006-10-16T07:31:00.000-07:00

This is by far my favorite picture of Miriam so far. It is truly amazing how much time out of my day is used up just looking at this little girl. She is truly beautiful. God has blessed us incredibly.

~JK

Hope for Tomorrow, Inc.

2006-09-07T16:44:00.000-07:00

I started a new job about 3 weeks ago. I am the new clinical case manager at Hope for Tomorrow. HFT is a non-profit foster and adoption placement agency. They are extremely Christ centered in their approach to providing children removed from their homes by the state the kind of care they need.
My job to ensure that the treatment plans written on all the children are meeting the minimum standards set by the state and our licensing agencies. I also am in charge of contracting with therapists across the state to provide counseling for each child.

So far, I have really enjoyed my job. It is challenging at times because I read about why children are taken from their homes and the behavioral problems which are (in my mind) the direct result of not having positive influences in their life. It is rewarding to know that I have a part in helping them to know Christ through the team assigned to work with them. So many of these kids would certainly not have had the chance to develop a relationship with Him if they had not been taken from the home. The efforts of the HFT staff may not end in children having life-long relationships with Jesus, but hopefully they are able to see that there are people who are not going to take advantage or neglect them.

~JK

Enjoying the Journey

2006-09-06T20:01:00.000-07:00

I say its not so bad...Perhaps that is because I am not getting up as much in the middle of the night as Krista is. Perhaps this is because, while I have emotional needs that are being met as I hold her and care for her, Miriam does not depend on me for anything she needs in order to survive. I do not seem to mind waking up in the middle of the night to change diapers or to burp her. Her crying is even cute sometimes when her little lip quivers. Its really not as bad as people make it out to be. Or perhaps...

I just love being a father.

I have not experienced anything so far that I have not enjoyed about having an infant. All along, since we found out we were pregnant (I say "we" because as a family systems theorist, when there is a change in one part of the system, there is always a change in the rest of the system....We were pregnant....We had a baby) we have tried to take everything that happens as an opportunity to learn something new. A good friend of mine once said to enjoy the journey. I think this approach to life helps me to not be bothered by the 3 am feedings or the wacky emotions of a pregnant woman. Looking at life as a journey, I see each moment as a chance to realize something new.

When Miriam cries at night and I wake her up, check her diaper and do not find anything, instead of getting frustrated that I got up for nothing, I get to see Krista - as tired as she is - wake up and feed her without complaining. She may even sometimes smile as I hand Miriam to her and say lovingly, "Are you hungry precious?" I am enjoying the journey. I love to see the joy that my daughter brings to life and the faces on others as she begins to cry. I am not in a hurry to see her grow up, I do not pine for the day she is sleeping through the night or for the day she says, "Daddy" for the first time. I loved today because I got to see her smile. I loved the five minute break I had just now so I could put her to bed.

I am enjoying the journey.

~JK

It takes a village...

2006-09-05T16:03:00.000-07:00

There's an African proverb which says, "It takes a village to raise a child." The good news is that we now have a child. The sad news is that part of the vilalge left yesterday.

On August 28th at 8:49 am, Miriam Grace Kellar entered the world. Her dad, and her Mimi were both in the room as she entered it. It was beautiful. I never thought a greyish-blue, cottage cheese covered being could be so incredible....but she was. We spent the next 36 hours oohing and aahhing over her in the hospital. Then we brought her home and havent stopped the oohing and aahhing. Krista's mom was here all week with us to help adjust to having a third Kellar in the home. She left our home yesterday and it was a sad day. Krista cried, I sighed, Miriam just slept as if nothing was changing. The last 24 hours have been very interesting, just seeing how life is going to be as a family of three (for a while at least). It is wonderful having Miriam home with us now. I have commented several times about how in a matter of seconds, she went from being someone who needed rather little attention to someone who is in constant need of attention and supervision. It is a joy having her here. Krista will be staying home for a few months to further help us adjust. Since Sally (a.k.a. Mimi) was here, I realized how important it is to have a parent devote constant attention to their child. Everything went very smooth while she was here. They still seem to be going fine, although it will take a week or two before we run out of clean laundary and food that was brought by friends. It has been great seeing the support of friends and family in the first week of her life. It's a good feeling to know that there is a village that already loves her (almost) as much as we do.

~JK

Miriam's First Picture

2006-08-16T20:03:00.000-07:00

Here is a 4d sonogram picture of Miriam we had a couple months ago. The detail is incredible. It was at this moment that it really hit home that she is being knit together in Krista's womb!

~JK

In brief...

2006-08-16T19:51:00.000-07:00

Here are the bulleted highlights of the last month or so:

Krista and I both graduated with our Masters degrees last friday.
Krista is dilated to 1.5 and has been have some contractions each day
We had a baby shower where Miriam received enough pink clothing to last till she is 16 years old.
I began a new job on Tuesday for an adoption/foster casre placement agency. I am the clinical case manager for half of Texas servicing over 600 kids and 200 families.

I guess that is the gist of what is happening. Send me an email of you want more details!

~JK

Grace, Love and Knowledge

2006-06-13T14:43:00.000-07:00

"For what would it profit us to know the whole Bible by heart and the principles of all the philosophers, if we live without grace and the love of God?" -Thomas a Kempis

I guess you could say I am nesting in more than one way. For the last several months, Krista and I have been feverishly trying to get the house ready for Miriam. We have been painting, gathering baby furniture, etc. I have also found a new interest in parenting material. I have been reading through several different articles and books on parenting. I scan the pages of What to Expect When You are Expecting hoping to glean information that will prepare me for being a parent. I have no doubt that all this information is good, yet I am continuously reminded that I will understand everything better once I am actually a parent.

I have heard relentlessly the phrase, "You will understand when your baby comes." I do not resent this but rather it reminds me that nothing adequately prepares you for being a parent other than being a parent. I find myself trying not to rely too heavily on the books I read or the tidbits of information others share with me rather the moments experienced between Krista, Miriam and I.

I consider these moments of God's grace and love. He shows me grace by giving me moments of learning as Krista and I discuss bringing Miriam home from the hospital. I feel graced when I see Krista holding her tummy as Miriam kicks her little feet inside. I experience His love when I realize I do not have to wait for delivery to know these things. The "principles of philosophers," and stories of faith in the Bible I read are definitely helpful insights but it is through these moments of grace and love when I feel the most knowledge.

~JK

Why do I want to be a parent?

2006-06-09T21:21:00.000-07:00

I have finished my classes, taken the national marriage and family therapy exam and am just a few weeks away from completing my hour requirments for graduation. My mind has begun to wander to other matters on the horizon. For those who read this blog and do not talk to me in person, Krista and I found out abotu a month ago that we are having a little . Miriam Grace Kellar is growing nicely inside my wife's womb and the nursery is coming together. My thoughts seem to be more and more occupied with the birth of my child and how I am going to support her. Thoughts about how I plan to parent and how things will be different seem to pervade my silent time. I decided to buy a parenting book by an author who spoke at ACU recently. Here are some reflections as I have just finished the first chapter.

Why do I want to be a parent? This question drove the insights of the first chapter and called into question my intentions for bringing another child into this world. Do I want to be a parent because I think I will be good at it? Many people have told me that I will be a good father. I am flattered by this but I am not convinced that this is the reason. I have often found myself feeling like parenting is simply the next step in the formation of my family. Krista and I have been married for just over four years, why shouldnt we have a child. Despite the fact that Krista and I made a decision we were ready to have kids, this decision was not based on either of these. We both wanted children. We have always known that. We had names picked out before we were even married. I think we had both just assumed we would but did not perhaps really investigate why.

In his book, Sacred Parenting, Gary Thomas proposes that the reason we have kids is not for the children's sake. He says there is something about being a parent that changes us. In our effort to raise spiritual children, we have to be spiritual. Our relationship with God is transformed as we live out our desire to raise children in the image of his Son. He writes,

"We live in the midst of holy teachers. Sometimes they spit up on themselves or on us. Sometimes they throw tantrums. Sometimes they cuddle us and kiss us and love us. In the good and the bad they mold our hearts, shape our souls, and invite us to experience God in newer and deeper ways."

In the good and the bad they mold, shape and invite us to experience God. I want this to be why I parent. There is something that is already happening to me as I look on the growing belly of my wife. I know there is a child of God inside that I have so much to learn from.

~JK

Mostly Finished!!

2006-05-13T06:11:00.000-07:00

I have officially completed all the classroom assignments for my Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy Degree. All I have left to complete is my internship. By August, I should have 500 hours of clinical counseling completed and will graduate. May 20th, I will take the National Marriage and Family Therapy Licensing Exam and should I pass that test, will become a LMFTA, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Associate. What this exactly means is that I will have to begin accumulating a totally new set of counseling hours (this time its 3,000) and once that happens, I will be an LMFT. I'm currently looking for jobs in Abilene where I can work part time, preferably counseling, and continue my ministerial education. It feels good to be done, but I should probably start studying for the National Exam.

~JK

Jesus and Sin, Part 1

2006-05-05T21:12:00.000-07:00

Did Jesus want to sin?

This post is totally unrelated to my previous post regarding needing and wanting sex. :o)

~JK

Is it Better to Need or to Want Sex?

2006-04-26T09:00:00.000-07:00

Here's the question which drove our discussion this morning in my sex therapy class:
When it comes to being needed and being wanted, which is a heathier perspective when it comes to sexual experience?

I will post more later but its interesting to hear different ideas of what is behind sexual intention. How is our view of sex impacted whether we view it from a "need-based" perspective or a "want-based" perspective?

I understand that this discussion is a bit more frank than others but hopefully the diablogue will be insightful and eye-opening.

~JK

A Toddler Teacher.

2006-04-25T14:42:00.000-07:00

Last night Krista and I babysat for a friend. Their little girl is two years old and such a sweetie. As I was following this little girl around my not-yet-child-proof house like a lemming, I had the following reflections:

- There is a reason God gives us two years to prepare for having a toddler.
- No matter how messy it is, toddlers eating oranges are cute.
- Pacifiers (or cry-plugs as I like to call them) are made in heaven.
- Baby Einstein movies work well to help adults fall asleep.
- Two parents are not enough to keep track of one toddler's evening activities.
- Some games designed for children age three are more entertaining for children age twenty-four.
- No matter how innocent they look, toddlers can be competitive too.
- No matter how much more mature than toddlers they are, twenty-four year olds are also competitive.
- Nap time is more for adults than for two year olds.

Thats all I have for now, I am sure I will have other not-so-useful reflections in the future!

~JK

M.Div Or MACM?

2006-04-25T10:20:00.000-07:00

In August, I will graduate with my Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy. Some of my classmates are going on to work on Doctorates, some are going straight into the workforce as therapists. I, on the other hand, have another masters to finish. Before I began my MFT training I was enrolled at ACU in the Masters of Divinity program. I began the MFT program because I did not feel that my BA in Preaching (Harding University) or my M.Div from ACU were equipping me to do counseling in ministry. I love to counsel people and I wanted for this to be my focus regardless of what ministry position I land.

Currently, I am at a crossroads. To complete the M.Div would mean an addition 10 classes and possibly more than 2 more years of schooling. The alternative is to switch to an MA in Christian Ministry. This would mean possibly 4 more classes and I could be done in December or May. Now is the time to decide because depending on which route I take, I will need to register for classes this summer. I have heard different advice from several people, all of it has been helpful. Any feedback you might have would be appreciated!

Also, Krista and I find out next Monday (5-1-06) if we are having a boy or girl!

~JK

Late Night Distractions

2006-03-09T21:14:00.000-08:00

Back to the subject of oneness. I was reading more from Every Woman's Desire (Now called Every Man's Marriage) and the authors were talking about how oneness starts with submission. They cited the verse in Ephesians about wives submitting to their husbands and husbands loving their wives. The conclusion was that even though it doesnt say men are to submit to their wives, if we are to have oneness with them, as Christ does with his church, submission is the only path. I decided that a typical way men try to get wives to submit is to have them do work around the house. Tonight Krista went to visit her grandparents in Throckmorton, TX (pop. 900) so I thought I would surprise her by doing what other men might consider womens work. I did a little laundary, cleaned up the kitchen, tidied up the living room, saw the computer sitting on the couch, bent over to put it away and started checking my email. I then started blog chasing and now...I am posting on how easily I get distracted from doing things to submit. I didn't think becoming one would be so difficult. I know there is MUCH more to being one than housework - thank goodness. I know Krista will appreciate what I did, but as I have been at the computer for too long, I am tired and plan on going to bed, not having accomplished what I wanted to do. I am not sure where I meant for this to go but when I began writing it, I had some thought about the difficulty of trying to become one and how easily we get distracted by other less important things.

~JK

A Bun in the Oven!!!

2006-03-08T18:30:00.000-08:00

September 10th. That is the day that mine and Krista's life will change forever. September 10th is the date that in Dr. Tadvick's divine knowledge, has been decided that our first baby will be born! It is a day we are looking forward to! Here are a few of the first pictures!

This was taken at about 5 weeks. We nicknamed baby, "Dot."

These two are the same picture, one is just magnified. This was at about 8 weeks. "Dot" was affectionately renamed, "Blur."

Here's the story about how it happened...well...in a way:
Krista has been asking and asking about when we can have "the talk." I got tired of her asking and said that I wasnt even willing to talk about it until 9 months before we graduate, a.k.a. December. The beginning of December came around and Krista was nice enough to remind me (I knew it was December, but I like to tease her). I told her we still had another 30 days until December was over. I said this because I was really planning on giving her a late Christmas present. My Christmas present to her was that I was really ready and excited about deciding to start trying to have kids! About a week after Christmas, I planned a nice dinner and in my own special way (...not telling this part) I shared with her that I wanted to have kids.

A week later, I was taking a nap and Krista woke me up to ask me where some cash was. I thought this was strange so I told her there was some in my wallet. I pretended to go back to sleep and heard Krista leave. She came back a few minutes later and went straight into the bathroom and closed the door. This was also strange since when we are home alone, the door never gets closed. A few minutes later she came hopping out and was running around the house looking for something (I am still pretending to be napping and she is trying to be as quite as a woman who just had a positive pregnancy test can be). She came tip-toeing into the bedroom holding a box with a ribbon around it with me lying there with my eyes closed. Before she got to the bed to wake me up, I said, "You're pregnant aren't you!?!" "Hey!" she said as I got up and opened the box to see that there was indeed a home pregnancy test indicating that we would be having a baby.

Maybe it is just the skeptical side of me, but when a home pregnancy test claims to be 98.5 percent effective, I feel like I might fall into that category of people in the 1.5 percent who make all these plans to have a baby and then find out that there is a reason they make that claim. We did another home pregnancy test. Again...positive. We decided that we could probably rely on two positive tests. Looking back we think about how God must have been laughing when we were sitting there making plans while Krista had been pregnant for 3 weeks already. So the grandparents were told and the doctors appointments were made. Keep us in your continued prayers. We have had good results at the doctors visits so far. For now...we wait !

~JK

Counseling the Katrina Aftermath

2006-03-07T13:35:00.000-08:00

Nearly six months after hurricanes Katrina and Rita hit the gulf coast, there are still relief efforts being formed. This morning in our MFI staff meeting, Dr. Halstead told us about an opportuinity to go to New Orleans and counsel those who are dealing with the stress that has compounded over the last 6 months. It is amazing to see the long term effects this disaster is having on people. They struggle with not knowing what their future holds. As they try to repair the damage, they face constant reminders of loved ones who died and belongings they can never get back. Apparently, there is still an overwhelming amount of aid that is being sent down there. Church groups and relief agencies have hundreds of volunteers willing to go and muck out the houses. I have an opportunity to go and help people muck out their hearts. There is a Christian organization being formed to help with future crisis/relief needs as well. In addition, we will have the chance to lead a marriage enrochment seminar at the congregation that is putting this all together. Keep us in your prayers as we prepare to help!

~JK

Desensitized?

2006-03-07T06:48:00.000-08:00

It has happened. Yesterday I was sitting with Krista watching a movie. It had been a long day and I had seen a couple clients and I was thinking about how varied my life is. I sit in a counseling room as people poor out their hearts and troubles and I interact with them about them hoping that a word I say will offer a glimpse of hope and light in their darkness. Then I go home and eat supper. I listen to people talk about addictions, abuse and aimlessness and then head off to Wal-mart. Perhaps it is out of necessity, but I feel as though I have been desensitized. Should it be so easy to compartmentalize my life in such a way that I can be crying with a client one minute and laughing as I watch Dumb and Dumber the next? Maybe this isn't desensitization but something else. Every now and then I catch a glimpse of my life from a different perspective and it shocks me. What if I have things all wrong? Should I feel so much compassion that it is on my heart constantly? How do I appropriately separate my feelings of hurt and sorrow for my clients and my life outside the counseling room? These things keep me wondering about the joy of the Lord and his sorrow over the actions of his creation.

~JK

A Decision Not to Love

2006-03-04T10:08:00.000-08:00

What is the difference between oneness and love? Me and Dannie Rio were talking yesterday about love and oneness in marriage. A book we are reading said that a woman's essence sets the standard for oneness. We were quite sure how to take that. At first I was a little offended. I thought why should the woman be the one who sets the standard for my marriage. Immediately after vocalizing this frustration to Dannie, I realized it. The very reason women set this standard is seen in my frustration with it. There is something rebellious in man that wants to be the one to be independent. We want to take care of things on our own and when we have to depend on someone else, or open up to someone else, we resist. By being frustrated with the fact that it is probably true about her essence, I illustrate how this standard is something more difficult for me to achieve than her.

This doesnt mean that either one of us loves the other more or less. Oneness and love are two totally separate ideas. I have counseled many divorcing couples who say, "I still love him." Is this true. I think it probably is, but they certainly do not have oneness. I have decided not to strive to love Krista anymore. I want to be one with her. I think love is a component necessary for oneness and by settling for love, I may not have anything different than the divorcing couple I see each week.

~JK

Speaking of the Unspeakable

2006-03-01T07:31:00.000-08:00

I am on break from my sex therapy class right now. We are talking about childhood sexual abuse and it struck me. This is not a topic that we have really talked much about in our churches. Why is that? Why is it that we have been so afraid to address this horrible sin and to confront it in a setting where people ought to feel that they can have the most love and support? Why have we been so afraid to help those who couldn't speak for themselves and resist those who have been more powerful? How can we make the church into a place where instead of perpetuating the abuser-victim's "No-Talk Rule" that we learn to speak about the unspeakable?

~JK

Can He Still Feel the Nails?

2006-02-20T06:15:00.000-08:00

Yesterday at church, the one who led the communion thought said something interesting. He said that Jesus feels the pain of the nails every time we sin. His comments reminded me of a frustration I have had for some time regarding a mentality that every single time we sin, it is as if Jesus is hung up on the cross, again and again. We even sing a beautiful song about it:

Can He still feel the nails
Every time I fail?
Can He hear the crowds
Cry crucify again?
Am I causing Him pain
When I know I've got to change?
Cause I just can't bear the thought
Of hurting him.

I wonder about the theology of such comments and songs for several reasons. When Jesus died, his sacrifice was different than all the other sacrifices in the Bible. In the Old Testament, the Jews had to make annual sacrifices in order to be rid of their sin. The sacrificial lamb was brought to the altar over and over again each year to reconcile God's people with himself (Lev. 16:34). What makes Jesus' sacrifice different is that unlike the lambs and other animals of the Old Testament, Jesus rose from the dead.

When I think about the thought of crucifying Jesus over and over again, I think I forget about the fact that his sacrifice was "once for all" (Heb. 7:27). I think also about Romans 6:8-10 which says, "Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God."

I am not trying to suggest that we shouldn't feel remorseful about our sin. I am sure that the intent of songs like Can He Still Feel the Nails? are meant to evoke an emotion leading to repentance and reflection on what was done so we might have it, yet I think the theology of the song should be questioned. Is Jesus sitting at the right hand of God wishing he had some Tylenol every time someone sins? If that is the case, how can we ever live with Him (Rom.6:8). I think it is a beautiful song that we sing, but in my head, I am thinking, "Can He still feel the nails? NO!!! He can't. He has risen!!!"

~JK

36 Down, Fourteen To Go!

2006-02-18T13:32:00.000-08:00

Create Your Own Here!

I found a website where you can log all the states you have been to. Someday I will hit the fourteen states I havent visited.

~JK

One in Christ

2006-02-07T09:04:00.000-08:00

A few Sundays ago our congregation participated in something incredible. The Minter Lane Church of Christ and the North 10th and Treadaway Church of Christ had a joint worship service. The reason this service was so incredible was not because two congregations were gathering together to worship on a Sunday morning but because The Minter congregation is predominantly white and the North 10th Congregation is predominantly black. For some time, Doug Foster has been teaching on racial reconciliation and this gathering was evidence of two congregations desiring to have unity among believers despite past divisions and seemingly irreconcilable differences. I appreciated the thought and intention that went into the planning of the service and I hope that these two congregation will continue to dialogue about breaking the patterns of division which have often characterized our brotherhood.

~JK

Holidays, Family, and Stress

2005-12-07T13:11:00.000-08:00

There's an old commercial of a large white house with blue shudders. The house is decorated with white icicle lights and pine wreaths with red bows. The snow is falling and the music is playing. A family gets out of their station wagon and makes their way up to the front door. In their arms are piled Christmas presents wrapped with beautiful paper and ribbon. Before the parents and their kids arrive at the door, grandma and grandma open the door with arms open wide and give each family member great big hugs then hurry them inside out of the cold. The next scene is the family sitting around the dining room table with a large Christmas ham and the place settings perfectly situated. The music still playing, the smiles and laughter provide a clear indication that everyone is enjoying themselves. The final scene is the family sitting around the Christmas tree in their pajamas. As dad opens his gift, he is delighted to receive another neck-tie. The kids are elated at the sight of all the presents and can hardly contain themselves until the receive the next wrapped gift to open. With the music still playing, its obvious that this is what a family is. Its obvious that this is what the holidays are all about. Its obvious that any person watching the commercial is thinking to themselves, why isn't my family like that.

For many people the thought of family time like this is not occasion to sing, "Joy to the World" or "Walking in a Winter Wonderland." For many, the mere thought of Christmas is stressful. Christmas to many means putting things on layaway which will be later bought with credit cards. It means putting on smiles while you pretend to enjoy being around relatives. It means enduring family traditions which feel like just another hoop to jump through until you can make (and break) another New Years resolution. For some, the thought of Christmas just reminds them of the stress they have to endure for an entire month. The joy of Christmas seems to be overshadowed by the pain of remembering hurt feelings and tense family environments.

Many of the clients I see at the Marriage and Family Institute express that they do not want to continue counseling during the holiday season because things are just too busy. Many times the holiday season brings up a lot of the pain associated with family for a variety of reasons. The family traditions cause people to long for the day when family members were still alive to share in them. Having family get togethers where abusive relatives are present presents its own kind of pain. The starting of new family traditions seems painful for parents who want their kids to do things the way they have always been done their way and stressful for grown kids who feel like they can't start their own without hurting the parents.

Many people don't know how to handle the stress. Many people attempt to plow through the stress and instead of starting a new year recharged and ready to go, they are left trying to recover from the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas. The problem is not having too many stressful tasks this month. The problem is that people often try to raise their level of stress tolerance instead of lowering it.

When people try to raise their level of stress tolerance, they are finding ways to add to their plate more of the same things which stress them out. If you already have 5 things on your plate and there are 3 things you cannot handle, raising your stress tolerance to deal with the three things left out will only help you feel like you can put more than eight things on your plate. Instead we need to think about ways we can lower our tolerance for stress. Lowering our stress tolerance will help us to not have such high expectations that we burn out. When we lower our tolerance for stress, we find ways to manage our stress without overburdening ourselves. This makes us much more pleasant to be around on Christmas morning and instead of feeling burned out by New Years, you can feel recharged and ready to go instead. The link below describes 12 ways you can help lower your tolerance for stress this holiday season.

Stress, depression and the holidays: 12 tips for coping.

~JK

istillwearchaoswhenitryonorder!

2005-11-16T04:56:00.000-08:00

Do you ever step back and try to reexamine your life?

-Sitting on top of my toilet right now is a book called Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. Everytime I sit down, I read one of the two-page suggestions on how to make life more meaningful by looking at the forrest instead of the trees.

-Every other week, I will re-decide that it is really good for me to wake up at 6:00 to "get things done", even if I do not have anywhere to be until 9:00.

-Once every three to four months, I will input all my debit card and check transactions into Quicken so that I can feel like I manage my finances well.

-The laundary tossing and turning in the dryer right now is a reminder of the 11 loads I have left to wash, dry, and fold.

-The walks Krista and I take are often enough to keep me thinking about my health, but not frequent enough to change it.

-My planner lieing open next to me keeps me running between appointments, straining as I fulfill my obligations, always thinking, "What do I have to do next?"

-The passage I read this morning seems way too fresh for someone who preaches every other week and is working on a Masters of Divinity.

Do you ever feel like in order to get one area of your life in line, every other area must be perfect as well. Its an incredibly hopeless feeling and at the same time, getting one of these accomplished for a week makes me feel like its doable. I mutter, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can" until I run out of breath and then I simply think about thinking about it. How can rely on God more to help me bring order out of the chaos that I feel sometimes? How can I turn my desire into my effort? How can I pull it together?

I Don't Mean to Offend You...

2005-10-19T08:50:00.000-07:00

For some reason, it seems like our society has grown accustomed to feeling like it has a right not to be offended. I feel like anytime I am sharing my opinions or views, that I have to preface what I am saying with, "I am not trying to offend you," or "this is just my opinion." We like in a day where everyone is so thin-skinned that you can hardly help but offend people. WHY MUST WE BE AFRAID TO SHARE WHAT WE THINK!!!! I don't get it... Someone help me out.

~JK

Holy Action Figures!

2005-10-18T05:25:00.000-07:00

I was browsing J.P. McCarty's site and saw a Jesus action figure. I started to browse the internet to see where I could find one and stumbled across these other Holy Action Figures.

Jesus Christ Action Figure

With ninja-messiah throwing nails and death killer, cross pump action, over-under shotgun.

God Almighty Action Figure

Complete with Kalashnikov AK-47 assault rifle, and halllowed cloak of invulnerability.

Satan doesn't stand a chance!!

~JK

Ticked, Hacked Off and Extremely Irritated About the Word "Psed"

2005-10-17T08:38:00.000-07:00

It seems like recently I have been hearing more and more of a word that I thought was one of those "bad words." When people express themselves using the word, and I am going to say it for the sake of discussion, pissed - there is something inside of me that just cringes. I know that cultures change and words which used to be considered socially unacceptable are now commonplace but how did I get left out of the circle where they talked about how this word would now be acceptable. I don't know that I would have voted for it but I feel that I am behind on the times.
What is even more surprising is that I hear this word in various Christian circles. I have heard Christian friends, professors, family members, and even a minister a time or two use it to express themselves. Am I simply too conservative. Is this word any different than saying that you are hacked off, or ticked or really really angry? Will I look back on this post in ten years and think it was so silly for me to be writing about. There are certain words, even if condoned by society, I will never use - that is, except for the sake of trying to identify its legitimacy. I don't know if this is a sentiment that other people share regarding this word but having heard it several times yesterday, I thought I would express my thoughts. Thanks for reading!

~JK

Come Out, Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

2005-10-14T06:34:00.000-07:00

Is there shame in going to counseling? I am sitting in a computer lab at 8:34 in the morning. I have a new client at 9:00 this morning and I am wondering if they are going to come. It has been my experience since I started counseling people that many believe there is something shameful about it. I think that people realize that they may need counseling but for some reason do not make the first step to receiving it. Others may call and set up an appointment but not show up. I suppose if people have lived with the "junk in the trunk", as I like to call it, so far, what is the harm in keeping it hidden for a little while longer. The other thing I have noticed since starting this program a year and a half ago is that EVERYONE has "junk in their trunk." unfortunately, the stigma against counseling, or therapy is too strong. I really appreciate a song that has come out recently by Joy Williams. It is called hide and I think that it really says a lot about the shame that people are feeling and the need to make it known.

Hide by Joy Williams

To anyone who hides behind a smile
To anyone who holds their pain inside
To anyone who thinks they are not good enough
To anyone who feels unworthy of love
To anyone who ever closed the door
Closed their eyes and locked themselves away

You don't have to hide
You don't have to hide anymore
You don't have to face this on your own
You don't have to hide anymore

So come out, come out, come out wherever you are
Anyone who's trying to cover up their scars
To anyone who's ever made a big mistake
We all been there, so don't be ashamed

Come out, come out and join the rest of us
You've been alone for way too long
And if you feel like no one understands
Come to the One with scars on His hands
'Cause He knows where you are and where you've been
His scars will heal you if you let Him

~JK

I am Leviticus....!?!

2005-10-13T14:23:00.000-07:00

Here is an interesting website. Take a test, find out what book of the Bible epitomizes who you are. Fun, hokey, but interesting nonetheless.

Here is my "diagnosis." What do you think?

Which book of the Bible are you?

~JK

Labels and Spectrums and Transformation

2005-10-13T10:05:00.000-07:00

I sincerely dislike labels. I think they are often arbitrary and subjective. Especially as it pertains to Christians and their theological beliefs. It easy to label people as conservative/traditional and liberal/progressive/contemporary. In reality, it seems as if wherever one might be sitting on the spectrum from the left or right, they tend to consider anyone to the right of themselves, "conservative" and everyone to the left, "liberal." It also seems that in general people tend to think that if anyone is to the right of them, they can still be considered a brother and sister in Christ, but if someone holds views which land them on the spectrum to the left, there are irreconcilable differences. In essence, we are saying that whenever someone may seem to be "playing it safe" there is more security there. Sounds like it should make sense. This is a difficult challenge as on the one hand I consider myself too conservative to say whether someone is safe or not and on the other, it is important for us as Christians to be spurring one another on to be more transformed to the image of Christ. I am not sure that our transformation into the image of Christ can really be put on a spectrum because it ought to always be in transition. I like to think that I haven't arrived yet. I, as one who sincerely dislikes labels, may be thought of as hypocritical for even posting about this. My views are welcomed to be challenged and I know that in most cases are in need of revision. This was just something I was thinking about recently.

~JK

To Learn Spanish or Not!

2005-10-12T08:48:00.000-07:00

Several times in my life I have attempted to learn Spanish. Krista is nearly fluent in the language and has been blessed with the opportunity to use it in the work place. She has told me about times when her patients at the hospital were totally clueless regarding what a family member was going through. When they were finally able to talk to someone who could translate what the doctor was saying, their faces lit up.
It seems as if the population of Spanish-only speakers in America is growing. I do not consider this a bad thing, but simply another hurdle in being able to reach people who are in need. I took a year of Spanish in college but sadly, there is not a great Spanish speaking population in Searcy, Arkansas. I purchased a "How to Learn Spanish CD" but who has time to do that. As I near graduation from my marriage and family therapy program, the need to know Spanish fluently is even more glaring. I recently heard that in Abilene (population 100,000 +) there are only two Spanish speaking therapists. This is shocking since there is such a large community of Hispanic people.
Krista and I are faced with an important decision. We want to be able to reach out to others as a team. We have had many chances to serve in Latin American countries and I have felt at a deficit because of my lack of language skills. Upon graduating next August, we are trying to decide if we ought to go to a Latin American country for a few months so that I can go to language learning school full time and be immersed in a culture where I will have no choice but to become fluent. There are several schools we know of. The main ones we have looked at are in Costa Rica and Guatemala. The one in Guatemala, Christian Spanish Academy, seems to be my favorite option right now.
There are many details we are considering regarding this decision. If we were to go for 12 weeks, the cost including airfare would be $5700. We have considered raising support for this given our goals. Missionaries in foreign countries have to learn the language. Why would doing domesitic mission work to Hispanic communities be any different. This is just one of the factors on our minds in making this decision.
Please pray for us as we try and decide what we want to do when we grow up!

God Bless,
~JK

Dogs Bark

2005-08-24T07:01:00.000-07:00

Gemma, a Filipino woman in my class once commented on a difference between Americans and Philippines. She said that she thought it was strange when Americans don't like their dogs to bark. At first I didn't understand what she was trying to say and then it became clear to me. Dogs Bark! They are dogs; that is what they do. For some reason, we as Americans love having pets but we get frustrated when our pets act like pets!

Krista and I have three dogs. But of course, our dogs aren't the problem. The problem is that the neighbor two doors down lets his dog outside at precisely 7:30 every morning. When his dog is let out, my dog barks. For a long time I have struggled with the fact that my dog barks because we have an apartment behind our house that we rent out and I have always been afraid of imposing on people or feeling like something of mine is a nuisance. We even went out and bought a dog bark collar that electrically shocks him whenever he barks. Strange huh?
I have finally come to grips with the fact that dogs bark. This is something that is going to happen and when people may complain about my dog barking, I will just tell them that he is a dog and he is going to bark.

Joel Osteen

2005-08-22T07:34:00.001-07:00

hmmm...?

~JK

Movie Class/Sunday School

2005-08-05T21:17:00.000-07:00

Next weekend, Krista and I are going down to Houston to visit my family where my dad has just began the position of Worship Minister at the Kingwood Church of Christ. Today I talked to my dad and he asked me if I would be interested in (co)teaching one of the Sunday night adult classes there. They have been doing a series where they watch a few short clips from a movie and then discuss the spiritual/theological/religious implications for their lives. I thought this was a great idea so I agreed and now I am left to come up with a topic as well as a movie with clips that contain no objectionable material (after all, we wouldn't want to confront sin in the church setting ;o) which also pack a theological punch. Anyone have any great ideas?

~JK